Crazy12day

The confusing epic of muh life
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2003-02-16 02:36:22 (UTC)

uhhhg

uhhhhg fucker !!! ne wayz sry i had to say that i am
falling bac into muh normal pattern u c these thoughts have
crossed muh mind b 4 ok it was sparked up again the other
day( i came to a realization more of ne wayz) when muh
frined jeff was like ur always happy it doesnt matter wut
is going on but u r always happy and u no wut fuck that b
cuz i am not always happy i juz choose not 2 fucking dwell
on the past and feel sry 4 muhself b cuz i get tired of
constantly hearing about how shitty peoples lifes are so i
choose to not be a downer and wut is the privce 4 that?
being thought of as a fucking ditz or juz immature no one
has ever really truely understood the aspects of muh brian
and i fidn the people that come closest are so different
from meh and not in mind patterns but in attitude and
apperanceand im tired of it ok ne ways here is y im
upset.... i came home frum dance 2 day which was 8-4:30 i
will talk aboit that later ne wayz i came home and muh mom
started talking me and i cant evenr emeber wut set it off
but i went off on all this emotion i had about how i am
constantly questioned by muh parents and i am told wut kind
of person i am and how i am to act and who i am and not to
let people influence meh and im sick of it and they took it
as this war but then i started like crying while im yelling
and muh parents yelled but wut they said doesnt matter b
cuz nothing could hold a candle to wut i expressed i went
off on how im ti4red of being told how great i am and thats
how im supposed 2 act and where im not supposed 2 go and
how thjis wasnt a powerstruggle between meh and them and
how i wasnt rebeling against them just how i couldnt hear
it ne more im tired and they pick and its rite after dance
and they pick and its rite b4 and after skool and i juz
cant do it and then i come to muh identity crisses where
its not really an identitity crissis b cuz i kno who i am
where i come frum and wut i stand for its just that people
take meh for sumthing that im not im not a fucking idiot
prep that only understands clothes dance and cheer i mite
not get a's in muh honors classes and shit but i sure do
kno wut im talking about maybe muh ideas rnt always
organised presise or muh conventions arnt that great but i
understand people i understand muhself and i dont get
credit for being who i am and the desisions i make i am
only judged upon the first look which is bull crap if u ask
meh and the otner thing is i havent made any really bad
decisions maybe im not always in a good situation but i
keep muhself outta most and those i am put in i find muh
own way out b cuz i would never hurt muhself i mean no one
understands and uhhhhhhhhhhg ne ways i forgott wut else i
was gunna say so next subject


DANCE:
ok so 2 day i had dancefrum 8 oclock this morning until 430
this afternoon i had ballet (man of lamoncha rehearsal)
frum 8-9 junior lyrical (i belive) frum 9-10 jr./sr. jazz
(that girl) frum 10-11 production rehearsal ( we will rock
you)frum11-1230 lunch frum 1230-130 then open rehaersal
which is like all muh dances frum 130-430 and its at cds ne
wayz ao long day ne ways the drama of the day was lunch
amber was gunna take meh but she didnt have her car 2 day
so then ave was gunna take meh sam and rachel but then
alicia and krista wanted 2 come and of course they all rode
in 1 car so meledy took meh and they dropped us off at
rubios which is like a few blocks frum corona ne wayz lunch
was hillarious they r all soooo funny and then we went out
in the lil parking lot b cuz there is a wall and alicia
showed us her music video lol ne wayz so we call ashley
(alicias sister) to come get us and take us 2 bahama bucks
b cuz alicia really wanted 2 go and like she wouldnt come
get us so alicia got pissed and every1 else did 2 but like
i was like w/e b cuz i mean they were like guyz we r not ur
taxi service and they r rite if i were 18 and driving 13
year olds to lunch and then coming back when they called it
would be outta muh way but w/e ne wayz so they lkept
calling then no 1 came till like 130 when we were supposed
2 be there and at first(wen they dropped us off) they were
jus like walk 2 freking bahma and then wen they were taking
4 ever and we were gunna be late it was omg ur not walking
all the way 2 corona (even tho the skool is closer than
bahama bucks) lol ne wayz i got in aves car and on the way
into the parkinglot she almost hit the gate and the car
made a huge screech and uhhhg it was scarey ne wayz then
they get out and meledy had muh bag in her car so she opens
it 4 meh and wen i get out ave amber breeanne and meledy
and ashley and all the older girls r like r u guyz mad ?
and im like im not i reali dont care and there like well
the rest of um r pissed and they were juz b cuz they
couldnt go 2 bahma bucks uhhhg they r such brat but w/e so
yea and katlyn asked meh if i wanted 2 do a duo w/ her i am
sooooo excited we r gunna have amber coreograph it and her
dad wants 2 use his motorcycle in it !!! yay omg im sooooo
excited ne ways we dont no wut song but probbaly a jazz duo
and ill probably have muh backhandsring by then omg im sooo
excited im so close i barel need a spot ne more waho ! so
yea but o and jen dislocated her toe last nite hahahahahha
she was at hillarys house w/ sum friends and theywanted 2
watch the recital video so wen they were dancing kjen did
the dances and she turned on the carpet and dislocated and
broke it ahhaha hillary said it wasnt that bad she was juz
being a baby and like her guy firned had 2 carry her to the
car and she was like dont worry i have crutches at home lol
ne wayz i g2g now thats enuf writting 4 now luv yaz !!!!!~


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