AngelJ15

Reality Bites
2001-09-25 03:35:28 (UTC)

My first Entry

I'm new at this on-line diary thing, but I was looking at
some of my friends' and it seemed cool, and I'm pretty
bored, so I thought I'd start one and see what happens. I'm
15, lets just say my name is Angel, cause its my middle
name and it makes me feel better about writing more
personal things on here. I stayed home from school today,
I've got the flu. I was sick over the weeked, and that
kinda sucked cause like the only time in my opinion that
its good to be sick is when you get to miss school-although
my grades beg to differ. School is school I've decided. Its got
terribly bad days once in awhile, and extreemly good days once in
awhile, but on the whole, it's just average. At least for
me. I mean I know that there's those people who dread going
to school, cause they get made fun of, or have no friends
or whatever, but it's never been like that for me. I'd say
that I'm in the upper middle class/lower high class as far
as highschool popularity goes. I have like 10 really good
friends at school, and I'm cool with everyone else. Like
I'm friends with everyone basically, exept there's one girl
in my class that I can't stand, oh don't worry I'm sure
they'll be more on that later. I used to care a lot about
popularity, but the end of last year I forgot why I cared
so much, and I've been much happyier since then. I mean,
everyone I think wants to be liked, and it's not that I
don't want to be liked, it's just my new thing is, If
people like me fine, if they don't fine, they're gonna
think what they want to anyways. I'm outgoing, and that
hasn't changed, I'm just less self concious which is a good
thing. Ok, now that you know my school backround, I'll give
you the DL on my family really quick: I live w/ my mom and
older sister-I mean, we sometimes get along, but whatever. I'm a very
friendship oriented person, my friends are like my
foundation ya know? I'd do anything for them-and they,well
they've done tons for me (I'll go into that when I have
more time, I'm just full of experiences. let me tell
you...haha)I do not have a boyfriend right now..my last relationship
ended like in July..it was the wierdest thing, he was totally cute
and nice and sweet, but I just like all of a sudden didn't like
him...it happens a lot to me, I just loose interest. I'm beginning to
think I'm destined to be a matchmaker.I'm the one that hooks everyone
up, yet somehow, my relationships (or lack their of if we're talking
about now) end up sucking major. Basically-I get guys that like me
that I am totally not interested in, and the ones I'm in love with
like me as a friend (or little sister) (usually the age difference
has something to do w/ it(EWW NOT LIKE HUGE AGE DIFFERENCE...like at
the most 4 years)Last year as a freshman..I had a thing for
seniors..lol I don't know, people always comment on how I always like
guys I can't have like my sisters' friends, or my friends' older
brothers...it's like more of a crush more than anything that will
materialize...you know?? But I'm sorta wanting a boyfriend right
about now...we'll see what happens. Lets see what else can I tell
you, My thing is singing. I'm like not that
outward about it though or obsessed or anything, I just like it, like
I don't sing in talent shows or whatever, mostly because the people
who do those are kinda strange... at least at my school. I have a
voice teacher and I was in a band for awhile. Ok, School, grades,
friends,family, singing...I think I've covered it all the
basics. But I still feel like writing. No ones probably
ever gonna read this anyways, my life probably wont
interest many people, this is a slow day though. lol. I
have major self-esteem issues, like looks wise. I know that
I've got a pretty good personality, I just lack
confidence outwardly. I'm told how pretty I am and stuff, I
just can't see it. It sounds like bullshit to me. I don't know...I'm
hoping pretty soon I'll be able to. I feel like seriously Huge. I
really used to be a couple years ago, then I lost like 40lbs, and now
I weigh 160 and I'm 5'7. People never EVER believe me when I
tell them how much I weigh, they're all like "NO WAY! YOU
DO NOT WEIGH THAT MUCH!! YOU WEIGH LIKE 140" I don't know
though, whatever. I've been losing weight lately, so Im
hoping I'll be gaining some self confidence. Alright well
I'm done for right now, I'm gonna go watch movies with my
sister. I'll write tomarrow, I'll be home yet again....while my
science grade continues to plummit. lol.
bye