just me...
2003-02-15 15:14:22 (UTC)

today was crap.

so last nite, the nite of valentine's day... me and kris
had the best nite ever. we hung out in my room and talked
for hours...and we talked about everything... my favorite
parts of our convo?? we talked about all our happy times
and stuffs...and he told me stories about australia
forever... but i watched him...and his facial expressions,
everything was sooo cute... last nite...everything about
it was perfect. the best valentine's day i've ever had.
then today...was exactly the opposite. everything about
it sucked. i mean, i got to hang out with jessica, and
that was fun cuz we don't really hang out too much
anymore...which i take the blame for... :( yea, but all
day long, all that happened, me and kris fought
practically all day. and tonite, he said he was tired cuz
he hadn't gotten much sleep and wanted to go to bed early
and so he wasn't gonna come and hang out with me when i
went to babysit...and i guess i was fine with that...
upset cuz i hadn't seen him all day and that was my chance
for the day... but i could've dealed...he was tired. so
he calls me...from the gym. turns out he's gonna play
bbal with his friends. i feel so loved. he won't come
and just be with me, but he's got enuff energy to come out
and play bball...i i went and saw him, we were
happy... he didn't end up goin home til sometime after 9.
and i was kinda hurt...cuz he stayed out that late and
didn't see me at all... and i had seen him for like a
total of maybe 20 minutes today... so i kinda felt like he
didn't wanna be with me and was just makin up excuses to
go do what he really wanted. i know, i guess i'm being
pretty dumb, and i was being super mean to him, but i was
hurt... cuz i felt like he didn't wanna spend time with me
anyways. and tonite...i was msgin him on my phone and he
noticed i was upset and asked about it and i told him not
to worry and go to bed cuz he was tired right? so
yea...he msged me back...forget it nite. and i know i was
askin for it...but i dunno...whenever he just kinda walks
away and says stuff like that, i feel like he doesn't
care. and when i feel like he doesn't care, i think i'm
gonna lose him. and i don't wanna lose him...ahhhh!!!
today was just crap. hopefully tomorrow will be better....

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