Kat Eyes
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2003-02-15 04:28:51 (UTC)

february 14, 2003

sry i havent written in so long. i created a new, public
journal at deadjournal.com and i've been writting in that
lately. but i have to watch what i say b/c my friends
actually read it (well...a whole 3 or 4 of them...) but
yea, things have been good. i wasn't working for awhile. i
went in last tuesday and finished my last day for the week
today. it was really hectic this week, so i was in every
day after school. josh (our old driver)apparently went to
jail while i was gone and margit fired him when he got out.
and shes hired 2 new designers, as well as a new driver.
angela is one of the new designers. she seems pretty cool.
wing is the other one. shes realy short and asian and i
can't understand her at all, but shes great. she seems to
really enjoy what she does and shes a fast learner. i'm
actually jealous b/c her and i are at the same experiance
level yet i am making no progress in my job. but shes great-
i like her. and our new driver is chad. when i first meet
him i didn't like him. but the more i get to know him the
more ok he becomes. he smeels good-every time i wlak by him
i get a wiff of whatever hes wearing. hes nice-his hearts
in the right place at least. i think bridgette is still
pissed at me b/c its my fault she lost her tongue ring. but
my opinion of her has gone down quite a bit since i've bene
talking to elizabeth(her sister) bridgette has a troubled
past and she doesnt like her parents at all. and elizabeth
has told me how mean bridgette is to them and i believe her
over bridgette. but i was nice to her today, and vise-
versa. so its all good there. i made around 67 dollars this
week which i'm really happy about.
dad had met someone else through chat and is visiting her
alot. her names mary-anne and she lives in las vegas w/ her
15 yr. old daughter and 'exotic dancer' best friend. so
thats where dad is right now. we've gone to vegas twice
since hes met her. she seems really nice. her daughter is a
few months younger than me and she smokes and that kinda
wierds me out. but whatever floatds your boat i guess. her
best friend is a lil out there. shes funny and nice but
very spontaneous. but it was fun we we've gone. the trip
there is generally a father/daughter bonding moment. and
its nice. dad can eb a real ass sometimes but when hes not
hes a great person.
things w/ my friends have reallybeen stressing me out
lately. it mostly involves blake. we go into a big
arguement last night. he now goes out with tatum. TATUM! my
good friend. well theres not much i can do. i mean i guess
if they're both happy thats all that matters right? :-/
winter hated tatum at first b/c both winter and i assumed
that thats why blake broke up w/ me was for tatum but he
claims thats not true (i trust him as far as i can throw
him)i saw them holding hands after school today though and
i just wnated to cry. i mean it broke my heart. sriously. i
want to be the one holding his hand, calling him and
keeping him company when hes at his moms and the one going
to the park and movies every friday night. they intended to
call me last friday (i was in vegas anyways...) but i was
supposed to be notified about the park and someone forgot
to call me. (ahem..BLAKE) and no one bothered to say
anythng to me tonight. i asked tatum what she was doing
tonight and she gave me some wierd answer, but i know she
doesnt want to tell me shes going to the park w/ every1.i
mean thats just like a slap in the face. i guess every1
just liked me b/c i was 'blakes girlfriend' i seems liek
i'm just another face now. except to jourdan-him and i are
really close. but him and tatum kept it form everyone..the
fact that they go out. no-let me re-phrase that THEY KEPT
IT FORM ME and only me. every1 else knew. for some reason
i'm not mad at tatum, but i am at blake. i'm furious w/
blake. maybe b/c i can understand why tatum didnt tell me
(she didnt wanna lose me as a friend) but blake had no
excuse. we've been over this lying thing before. and he
said he wants to be friends w/ me, but how can i be friends
w/ him if i can't trust him? want to hate him, like him
and be friends w/ him all at once at thats hard to do. i
want to hate tatum too, but we're close. and i am jealous.
i'm straight up jealous. i want what she has-blake. and i
keep telling myself that i'm getting over him but i'm not.
its so hard. ok wel i'm gonan go. i'll try to write more

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