The Monotony of it All
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2001-09-25 00:54:24 (UTC)

Never A Dull Moment......

The funny thing is....the SAME stuff keeps happening!! No
matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get ahead....A
little background info for you:
I'm 23 years old, soon to be 24 - and, up until now, my
life has been just about as messed up as it can get. A
string of bad relationships has left me bitter and
judgemental. My relationship with my family is pretty much
non-existent - they pretend that I don't exist and I
pretend not to let it bother me....that is until they
decide to make my life miserable, and up until now I've
done nothing but lie there and take it. Paul (the love of
my life that I've been with for 8 incredible months) has
helped me to see the error of my ways and I have actually
begun to stand up for myself. GO ME!!!
I work for a local mortgage company and let me tell you,
the business is great, the pay is shitty and the company I
work for is just about as corrupt as any politician. I work
my tail off, and for nothing. I get a piddly $600 every two
weeks, work about 10 hours overtime each week, cover up for
an unorganized manager and a co-worker who stuck us with 78
files that had yet to be insured or shipped to the
appropriate federal agencies (and if you know anything
about the mortgage business, you know that this is a BIG NO
NO!! God forbid these people have a fire or want to
refinance cuz they're screwed). Needless to say, I do my
usual job, re-organize our entire department, get the work
done that the putz left me with, and I don't even get a
thank-you or a kiss-my-arse for it - loverly.
Lately, I've been focusing my energy on 2 things - Paul and
getting a car. The Paul thing is in the bag - I love him
more than life itself and we plan on getting married -
when, I don't know cuz the goober won't tell me when he
plans on proposing EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS I HATE
SUPRISES!!!!! The car thing, however, is a COMPLETELY
different story. I've worked my tail off to try and restore
the credit history that was once picture perfect but was
ruined by an ex boyfriend of mine - and my stupidity for
letting him gain access to my finances. But, no matter how
hard I try, I can't seem to make it work. I've been THIS
CLOSE to getting the financing I need so many times - only
to watch it fall through when I think it's going to happen.
Tonight is no different. I just found out that I got
approved for a car loan through this one company that I've
been working with for the past month or so - needless to
say, I'm keeping my fingers, toes, and just about
everything else crossed in the hopes that this actually
goes through and I get a car. Then I can tell my parents
what I really think. I mean c'mon at 23 years old I think I
have the right to live my life the way I want. They want me
to get a car, this comes through, I tell them about it, and
they bitch at me because it's going to cost money!!! Can we
say hypocritical! I said, "Well, the only way a car won't
cost me money is if you two acknowledge the fact that I AM
YOUR DAUGHTER just like my other 2 sisters and decide to
help me out a little. But since I know that won't happen,
either be happy for me or shut the hell up!" Needless to
say, they aren't very happy with me right now. Oh well,
what else is new....SSDD... All I know is that, if it
weren't for Paul, I wouldn't even be here writing this
right now. I owe everything to him, my life, my sanity, my
heart, my mind and my soul. And I want him to know that
they are all his for as long as he wants them.