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Angelwitha_brokenwing
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2001-09-25 00:39:41 (UTC)

Can't be understood

I feel everyday, as if I should hide... hide from what I
dont know. Maybe my feelings?
I sometimes find my self looking at suicide like it is a
good option. Cant be depressed and even go into the
bathroom.. with out eying a razor thinking about it over
and over till I just have to leave. I dont mean to be the
person I am... I dont know what's wrong with me. I think
I'd feel better if someone say theirs nothing wrong with
you.. then tell me whats right about me.
My family members only seem to tell me the bad things.. I
dont know why exactly, I come home from school... wondering
what their problem with me is going to be today, I take it
the best I can, by the dont understand why in the middle of
a conversation I just break down and cry. I'm a very
understanding person... or I wouldnt put up with what i do
at home. It's been so long since I got an ' I love you '
from my father.
And even when my bf tells me that.. he seems to feel every
single void I may have. he makes my pain go away... Till
were apart again. It's very hard being apart from him...
But our hearts are still together thats all that matters.
I dont realize the things i say to people.. and I normally
dont think of them is negative. I just hope he
understands... that only the loving words is the words i
mean. I often wonder in my mind is their something wrong
with me... It isnt my looks.. but I can stand in a mirror
and think about all the pain that ive had and cry my eyes
out.
This is just the misunderstandings...
That I cant even understand


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