Attie_Jay

MJ and me

I'm not addicted to the drug, I'm sure of that much.

I went for months without thinking about it.

I'm not afraid to not smoke.
I'm afraid to leave the lifestyle.

We must change and live on...and I seem to think moving to
California (now only days away) was going to solve that for
me, but it isn't. I have to choose between my shitty little
egotistical pleasures and what I really want to do with
life. The past 6 months I've been trying to do both...and
it's weakened my resolve to save money. I still have plenty
to move, but It's time to throw the numbers at myself and
face facts...

I would have almost $700 more If I hadn't smoked over the
past year.

This isn't as bad as it could have been had I really broke
loose... still, regret finds it's way into a cave in my
mind.

Another lesson. If we cannot see the fault of our actions
through the consequences they bring, we must increase the
consequences to make our actions more apparent.

I will move to California...
losing everything but a lone guitar if I must.

The pain of my actions is the pleasure of thier lessons.

Learn, Addison, and you will heal.
Trust, Addison, and you will love.
Act, Addison, and you will prosper.

I will.