lauren s

..always something new..
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2001-09-24 21:04:17 (UTC)

entry#3.. this is bad

The last 10 min just killed me. If you read my first
entry.. you might be able to understand how much John meant
to me. Well Kyle told him I told about John throwing eggs
at Kyles car. John never wants to speak to me again. He
never wants to speak to Ben again or Alonna or Garett. I
dont know what to do. Im going to break down. I lost his
trust and hes not willing to give it back. I got put in the
middle of this and i dont think i should have been. I found
out about it from john and when kyle asked me about it, all
i said was yea. Thats all it took, and now i lost one of my
best friends ever. He dosent realize how much he means to
me. He dosent realize how im choking up because he said
goodbye and left. I cant talk to him anymore because he
just wont listen. I was honest when he told me about it
because i felt it was the least i could do. Im wishing he
had never thrown the egg, im wishing i had never found out,
i wish kyle didnt have such a big mouth all the time, i
wish i could keep my mouth shut, i wish i didnt have to be
so honest all the damn time.. i wish this didnt happen
because its irreversable. I dont know what to do .. im
going to go lay down