over_tired

Insight Into The Mind
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Ezoic
2003-02-14 07:51:06 (UTC)

Remembering, A POem

i wrote this on monday or tuesday i can't remember, but i'm
not sure what it is. i mean yeah its a poem and one of my
favs out of the ones i've written, but most of my poems i
can pin down as a certain "creature" i guess you could
say. i mean when i write them they just start to grow and
take on a life of their own, but for the life of me i can't
pin this one down. my closest guess would be fantasy or
hope or wish(p.s normally i'm not this weird, but it's late
and i am really tired so that may be why). well here it
is:

Remembering

I felt you watching me. I always could.
My body knew instinctively it was you.
Spider sense I call it
With my heart racing, I turn, but all I see is you, walking
away
The tears that I thought I had rid myself of threaten my
eyes
I try to hold them back, but it’s futile. I have to leave
my friends and hide
In the bathroom of all places, and try to stop myself from
feeling so much
You’ve moved on. You made that quite clear, but I can’t let
you go
The only question I have is…
What happened to us?
What happened to everything we shared?
Should I throw it away?
Forget about it for something else that has no meaning?
I can’t. Why?
Because I remember everything
I remember exactly how I felt when you asked me out
The butterflies in my stomach almost made me sick
I’m pretty sure I didn’t stop smiling that whole day
I remember what it felt like to have your arms around me
To feel secure and loved in that circle. Nothing could
touch me
I remember our bodies flush against each other when we
hugged
I remember the feeling of your heartbeat.
It was racing fast, almost as fast as mine. Like it was
trying to catch up
Don’t you remember what it felt like?
I do. I remember every sensation, every tingle, and every
touch.
I remember your breath on my cheek right before you kissed
me the first time
I remember afterwards, I felt like I couldn’t breath.
It felt amazing.
I remember your smile that could cheer me up even on my
darkest days.
I remember when I went to you after fights with my mom
You held me gently on the couch and let me sleep because I
was exhausted.
I remember your hands holding mine squeezing tightly when I
needed strength
Or, tracing just underneath the hem of my shirt. It always
sent shivers down my spine
I remember being able to borrow into your shoulder when we
watched scary movies
I remember your laugh, and the sound of your voice.
I remember what it felt like to have you whisper in my ear
I remember talking on the phone for hours
You were the only person I could talk to so easily
I told you things I didn’t even tell my closest friends
I remember being able to cry in front of you when it felt
like the world hated me
I knew you would just let me do what I needed to
When I think about us together the one thing I remember the
most is you.
You never pretended to be something else. You never
expected anything of me.
You didn’t want me to be someone else.
I think I fell for you little bit more because of that
That makes me laugh because I had already
Fallen so hard, I would probably never get up again.
But what do I know right?
I’m just a silly high school girl with a crush right?
That’s what everyone keeps telling me
I start believe them when I remember what you looked like
when you ended it
You were cold. The one thing you brought to mind was stone.
When it happened everything stopped. I couldn’t feel a
thing.
I was acting on autopilot. I was going through the motions
but I wasn’t there
I just had to keep myself from curling up and dying
But, when I look at you now, I see a glimmer in your eyes
sometimes
Like you regret it.
Maybe you just forgot what made us great. If you could only
remember…


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