Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
VALENTINES-7 Years Later
Weekly Outlook from 10th February
Make room for the creative changes in your life. Try to let
go of old patterns of behaviour that have been holding you
back. Change is never simple, especially at a psychological
level, but you will benefit greatly from abandoning what is
not in your best interests. Just remember that this is a
very sensitive time. Protect yourself from too much hassle
and aggravation. Let your inspirations flow. Write any good
ideas down you have down.
To feel as if you have no power, no control, is to feel at
a great loss. Suffocation.
I'm drowning in here.
I'm drowning in tears.
I would pray, if I thought there might be someone to pray
to. Lost and out of control.
One day you will see this
One day we'll be fine
When I'm floating belly-up
In a bottle of wine.
Whine. Whine. Whine.
VALENTINE'S DAY. 1995. Walk into the school and see my
friend. She's crying, my friend. She's bent over, one arm
around the teacher and gasping for air. "My sister was
going to go with them."
I'm 15. Valentines piled up on the table we all sit
around. The names. Names we'll always remember. We're
crying. I think my friend is dead.
My friend is dead. Your friend is dead. And Valentine's Day
will never be the same.
"All my friends are embrionic/All my friends are dead and
gone/All my friends are microscopic/All my friends wake up
alone." Gutless, Hole.
On a lighter note, I've got to get out of there. My job. I
will. Too depressing. I hate it. More than a job, another
life. I glimpse at what I hope I will never amount to.
I've got a Valentine. Do I love him?
~~~~~LOVE RIDDEN, on Valentine's Day. 2003.