abby c

wow... that sucks
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2001-09-24 20:21:46 (UTC)

i just got my tooth filled

i just got my tooth filled.... and wehn i was UNABLE to
speak the dentist and her assistant and my mom kept talkign
about girls and how girls "get to the age where they are
unbearable" or w/e and i got so mad i couldn't say
anything... fuck you guys we just satrt thinkin oursleves
for a change and you still wont leave us aloen thats why we
get bitchy n shit........ see, guys aren't watched and
picked at as much as girls, not usually (by their parents)
thats why guys aren't "unbearable" you fuckin a's

jill told em today that our parents are seperated cyuz i
guess my dad told her that but they aren't supossed to eb
tellign us anythign i guess cuz jill said that mom said
that he wasn't even supposed to start mentionign it......
but my mom stopped wearign her weddign ring... and my dad
took it off too.. so i guess they are seperated but still
livign together

i had such a bad day today.... i went over to matt today
beign stupid liek always and we have this thing where i
just keep tellign him and everyone at his table hwo we are
goign out and he goes alogn with it soemtimes, or at leats
eh did on friday and i made him kiss me on the cheek cuz he
was all embaressed and he actually did and it was all
friendly cute liek but then i guess ppl saw it and a bunch
of ppl were askin us if we were goign out and when ever ppl
ask me that i awlays say yes just for the fun of it... but
matt didn't think it was fun and was being sorta mean to me
today... chris kinda was too.... i dono... and everyoen at
his table was laughign cuz i was too but it hurt alot just
cuz they were laughign and juts cuz matt couldn't
undertsand that i was sorry...... but i am sorry, alot

i dont knwo why anyoen woudl even think me n matt were goign out...
matt would enevr ever like a girl liek me in a million years

also, i was palyin with dan about him n katie breakign up
and i wa sliek "so how is it bein single now? heard you
aren't gonan eb for long" and i was sitting in between him
n katie all thinkign it was funny cuz me n katie were
talkign abotu how we were gonna brign it up just to be
asses... but i was the onyl oen that ended up bringing it
up and he got mad at me and when i said sorry and forgave
me i was liek haha yeha i'm sorry but I'M not the oen who
shoudl be feleign sorry...a nd i shoulda just kept my mouth
shut the whoel time.. that last thign was really harsh
too... i'm really sorry abotut that i dotn wnat him mad at

-jill just brought it to my attention that dad isn't home-

today in english i was really upset cuz all of that
happened at lunch and english is right after and i was
goign aroudn nto talkign at all and just kind of draggign
myself around.......... anyways i wrote:

why cnat everyone just ahve fun, no oen has fun when
everyopne is beign asshoels liek they always are... they
dont even have to try either they are just really cruel
i dotn HAVE much to live for... i would do it, kill myself
i'm sick of it, everything.......why do all the small
thigns ahev to pcik at me liek this.

i'm ot sure if i feel that way... oen tiem i was talkgin
with my friend miek and we were sayign how if we had a gun
there woudl eb no question abotu it, we would just kill
opursleves on the spot.... the other ways are questionable

.......i'm reading the virgin suicides... good book, very

i wish my mouth would'nt be numb anymore cuz i'm hungry

later i guess :...(

.......i even saw edy in the hallway and didn't even bother
to say hi but i should ahve, he would have brightened up my
day alot....... he always does. what woudl i do without
ed?........i dont know

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