neverthesame

forever changing
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2003-02-14 02:54:16 (UTC)

another day

i never feel like i am where iam supposed to be. i feel
somewhat stuck i guess you could say. i don't know the best
way to explain it but if you have ever just felt like there
was nothing more, like this was your life, no more suprises
in store for you then you know what i'm talking about.
i don't feel completely stuck,when i am with my friends for
the most part its like the same ol' same ol' most of the
time. at home i am always trying to stay away from my
family. i don't know why i just would prefer to talk to my
friends rather than, as my mom says "bond" with my family.
they share my genes, we are pretty much bonded.
at the time being i feel more or less bored with my life.
the only interesting part, besides my friend's drama, is my
relationship with my boyfriend.
i am restless! i want to do something, well something that
is fun, a good fun not the type of fun where a bunch of
people decide to get high or drunk and make fools of
themselves, i do not find this fun because, for one i don't
get high or drunk, and also i just don't like seeing my
friends hurting themselves so badly and having no control
over their actions. it baffles me to think why some people
do the things they do. some of my close friends do some
stuff that is not exatly "productive" such as self
mutilation. but from them i see that this is their way of
dealing with pain. everyone has thier own ways, some of
which i have tried and found it doesn't solve enough
problems for a long enough tie so discontinued my practice.
i must go for now i will continue my rambling later.


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