my diary said it didn't want a name
Ad 0:
2003-02-13 23:33:58 (UTC)

well it started off about abby...

she's the most intelligent person i have ever spoken to.
i'm a bit out of practise in speaking as the person i at
least, believe myself to be. call it delusion caused by too
many drugs.. but i reakon i'm actually a pretty clever lil'
boy. i can say the whole alphabet and tie my own shoe laces
and everything now.

years of bringing my outside thoughts back in and churning
them around until they're minced up into tiny little bite
sized words and ideas that the people i've spent my life
with will almost understand. it takes them a couple of
minutes usually, but they get there in the end. i draw them
little diagrams on our blackboard in the studio and point
to each segment, giving a basic talk on each part. towards
the end, they begin to understand.

its not their fault i don't think the way i used to, its
mine. instead of trying to fit in and dumbing myself down,
i should have perservered and perhaps brought them into my
little world where i sit and wonder things like if there
could perhaps be a point in existance at this very second
where you can see absolutely everything that is happening
at that moment. it might be all to do with angles and
shit... or i might just have been really stoned the day i
thought of that. you'd probably go insane or your head
would explode. imagine how beautiful it would be. all those
tits... everywhere... .... ..... ..... .... ;-)
that's another thing, i've got to give this shit up. i
started it because i couldn't sleep and it used to knock me
out. i tried sleeping pills but i couldn't get up the next
morning without hydrolic lifts and little tibetan monks
floating around.

anyways.... abby. i can't write what i want in here about
her because i know she reads this.

i think im going to start a new one....


things to do: get more cleverer again
quit naughty bad smokey smokey drug
start a new diary
win the lottery - actually, i don't really
want to :-/

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