Maryjane

my life, my love and my happiness?
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2003-02-13 16:42:31 (UTC)

this is so hard to deal with

time:11:36am
ok so this morning was so hard. i got up and i just wanted to
cry. they came to get me and i didnt even want to leave. it
was so bad. then when we got to school i was walking in and
he came up next to me and like rubed my back as a sign of
like it is going to be ok. well it isnt right now but
eventually i will get over it. then i went to math and i
left and went to the nurce and slept for a while. then half
way through i had to go back to class.it was shitty and
mrs.blostine made me do work. ughh i haate everything. then
imbetween 1st and second block i saw them. i started crying.
maria was with me and she was like it is going to be ok it.....
really isnt but there is nothing i can do about it. then i
went to ais and wrote alot everything that was on my mine is now on
paper.... and talked to shanon about colorado. and gym vos got rid
of my head ache it was fucking awsome she did like this presure
point thing. ok well i gotta go to lunch so im out. pray that i wont
see them again!!!

time:7:31pm
yeah so i left my note book in the locker. what the fuck is wrong
with me. i didnt take out any of the stuff i wrote in it and they
all take my books to class with them everyday. why am i so fucking
retarted. ughhh!!! ok maria cheered me up in lunch and so didnt
mikey. and those cheese fries were fucking mad good yo! then i saw
kenny and he tryed to take my hat from me... well his hat. haha!
then i went to art and i punched amanda in the boob and we got in a
fight with colored pencils it was funny. then we made more choclet
in creative foods.jer made me a rose. he is soo nice. no one got me
a flower to day it made me sad.i hate this feeling i have inside of
me. it really sucks ass. the way i see it i just want him to tell me
everything that he sees that iam doing wrong cuz i feel like i am
being such a bitch and thati am being really selfish about it all.
lauren says im not but i dont know. all i do is compalin about it
andi think it is gonna just dig me in to a deeper hole. which i
prolly am and it will come back to me 10 times worse when i get back
form colorado. ughhh. i am talking to rich and he is like kinda
pushing me to tell him what is going on with me. i dont really wanna
so yeah. i havent really talked to any one about it except liz and
maria and lauren. ughh i dont know i feel needy in a way to. i am
but i hate admiting it. i am talking to justin and he wrote this
pomen thing it is so funny ucz i keel asking him who he is gonna
give it to haha it is so funny.

MEbrownkittyOW: so did ya fuiger out who you are giving the poem
to ?
MEbrownkittyOW: haha
APWarr20: not yet
MEbrownkittyOW: hummmm
APWarr20: random girl wlaking down the hall
MEbrownkittyOW: they will be like "oh my god! llike justin
pheffer just gave me a poem and he wrote it just for me like oh my
god!!!!

that is mad funny but ok. i fuigered out who my valentine is gonna
be.... the flight attendent on my plane to colorado. haha major
scrompin there!!!!!aight im out me*yow ttyall later.
watching:i dont know aht the fuck this is...


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