flutterwings

Wings With Love
2001-09-24 03:09:06 (UTC)

Saw My Rosie

Today I decided out of the blue, after I got out of work
that I would go and see my Rosie cat.

I called the girl I gave her too. I was told it was ok to
come over. When I got over there I just felt an
overwhelming feeling of anxiety in me.

I looked up the stairs that go to the upstairs bedrooms.
There she was standing on the stairs. She just got done
eating. I called her. And she came down the stairs. I
tried to touch her but she would not let me touch her. She
did come close enough to sniff at my face. It felt inside
as though she has forgotten who I am. I felt the tears
well inside my eyes. And all they could do was fall all
over my cheeks. I called her many times but she went back
upstairs. I followed her up the stairs but she did not
come to me. I told her I loved her. I told her I was
sorry.

I only stayed about 5-10 minutes. Then I left. I left
with tears and sobs inside and out. I drove away very
quietly. I will not go back to see her anymore. I just
cannot put myself through that ever again. The
overwhelming guilt I feel inside consumes me. I never ever
wanted to left her go.

I don't know if cats can remember their first owners or
not. Maybe its best she not remember me. I know she is
being taken good care of. But she will never have been
loved like I loved her. She brought me tranquility inside
even in my most desperate of hours.

I LOVE YOU ROSIE...........:(


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