Blue Castle reverie

My Saga
2001-09-24 01:41:39 (UTC)

over-analyzing.... i hope

I saw Sean and Mattie (the new g/f) the other day. They
are both friends of mine, and I think it's great that
they're together, so it's not a jealousy thing, but it got
me thinking. We had absolutely no sexual chemistry. I
mean, I would be sitting/lying/whatever there, and
thinking "wow, this is really boring" or "what exactly
does he think he's doing". And I always kinda assumed it
was him. ya know? It had never been an issue before. Bat
after I saw them the other day, this annoying little
thought popped into my mind. Like I said, I know Mattie;
I've known her since middle school (we live in the same
neighborhood), and this is the girl who once listed for me
all the places she and her boyfriend had had sex in the
past 24 hours. So, she's someone for whom physical stuff
is pretty important, and they've been together awhile, so
obviously it's working for them, and therein entered the
annoying thought: "Maybe it was me". Which is not a
particularly pleasant thought, and for some reason, it
keeps surfacing at rather inopportune times.