Cosmic Rain
2003-02-12 13:56:36 (UTC)

What A Load Of Ikea

I could do some bitch slapping. Some of that old slappity
slap slap in the ol chops. Give her the ol one two, one
two. Stupid cow. Am glad Mat FINALLY has realised just how
much she's dumped him in the shitter and has no intention
of rectifying the situation. I made him ring Bank Of
Melbourne to see what details they had of hers and it's
ziltch. They have no contact numbers at all. All Mat's
numbers. Surprise Surprise. And he finally got her number
off Martin, so now he has it and now they have it. So they
can start ringing her at 9pm Friday nights and weekends.

Watched a really interesting doco on National Geo about
tall people and I mean REALLY tall people. And people that
are going to be tall. People that at 8 years old are my
height. Well I am a stumpy bum, so that's prolly not hard,
but still. 8 years. And that guy that was 8'11 at 22 and
still growing. And the woman that is 7'11 or something.
Blooodyyyyy Hugeeeeeeee!!!! Size 22 shoes. Holy conundrums.
I feel short. Shorter than short.

Vicky Dicky still asked me to go to Ikea. AGAIN! I don't
want to go to Ikea. Thought the email of no, not interested
in driving you to Ikea, was a good answer to the already
Ikea asked question. I guess she thinks I still might want
to go, even if I don't drive her??? Then I would drive her
if that was the freakin case. Think she's getting
desperate. Maybe she wants to knock me off at Ikea. So
she's not gonna take no for an answer. And I guess logic
and thinking is not her strong point. Why would I want to
go to Ikea with her and look at furniture or whatever it is
she wants to buy. So I'm peeking at the Ikea Homepage and
they seem to sell a lot of things, but what has interested
me most is the Personality Test they got going there. I'm
guessing Vicki didn't take this or else they wouldn't be
letting her anywhere near their store. Or maybe she did and
that is why she's sooo hell bent on coming to Ikea, cause
they sent her free passes, because they saw the results and
thought, we're onto a winner here.We can suck her in to buy
everything... So, anyway lets do it and see how I go...

What Does Your Home Mostly Resemble?
A shoebox
The Brady Bunch's House
22 Ramsey St, Erinsborough
The Castle Madonna Lives in

Hmmmmm well, they seem to have missed our house. The one
that looks like the hurricane came through and took it out.
Well I'm gonna pick the shoebox one, seeing as our house is
small. Oooh now I have to pick a room that suits my style.

When was the last time you were late because you couldn't
find your keys?

Oooh easy peasy one, cause I always know where my keys
are,cause they go to the same spot everytime I use them.

If we looked under your bed what would we find?
Not even a speck of dust
Some things that don't fit anywhere else
Stuff I chucked under there last time Mum visited without
Two whips and a hockey mask

Hmmmm that last one realllly concerns me. Like reallly
concerns me. Maybe this is why Vicki shops there. Ahhh I
can't be fucked typing out the next question and that. It's
about remote controls and where we put ours. Shit, they
really are a tad worrisome these Ikea people. Next question
is asking about organisation and if I agree
that....etc...and one of them is "You'd prefer to organise
your wardrobe than a good romp in the hay." Woah Wellington
Boots. Wacky, Wacky Ikea people. I think Dickwad wrote
these bloody questions. Next one asks what do I do when I
get out of the shower. Yes, I do dry myself au-naturel by
running around the block starkers. WOOO HOOO ??? like
sheesh, or yes I ask my sexy flatmate to fetch my towel,
cause ooops I'm so Vicky blonde I left it in the living
room again. Silly moi. Just can't help myself. I'm sure
Vicki would have been disappointed with that question,
cause she leaves hers stretched out across the bed.

Wow! The Ikea people really are good. They got me down to a they got one thing totally spot on. Go
those Ikea people. They say I need a bookcase and a Poang
Armchair and a magazine rack. The bookcase and the chair
are fine. But the mag rack. Not sure about that. Even
though that is where they were 100% spot on. That I could
put issue 54# in the rack or my Take Away Menu for my
favourite Thai restaruant in the next suburb, which
amazingly enough is VERY VERY true.But I'd never put that
in a mag rack.They even have some veryyy interesting facts
flowing by underneath the questions. Go those Ikea people
again. Like Organised people are bigger drinkers of light
and premium beer. More balanced people prefer to organise a
wardrobe than have sex. Okiesssss!!! They seem preoccupied
with sex issues. I've seen the sex word 4 times now in
relation to interstate stats. Ooh there is even a Tidy Up
Your Room Game...woooo hooooo...I got a crap score, but
they said I was pretty good, so I put in Vicky as the Vicky with a y and not an i lol..

Fruitcakes and Ice-cream I have rambled. So that's it for
moi. *burpppppppppp*

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