Aradia Goblin Queen

Aradia's Head
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2003-02-12 02:34:57 (UTC)

day three

so im feeling a bit unloved today.
granted, it has nothing to do with
it being the week of st. valentines
more along the lines of, sometimes i feel
a bit left out by my friends. i try not to
go outta my way to hang out with them, yet when
i dont, i dont see/talk to some of them for days
on end.
and it isnt helping much that my mom is on some weird
emotional roller coaster.
to be honest, ive been holding lots of things in lately.
i finally learned how to put up that "front" that says
"i dont care nor is anything bothering me."
it s taking a whole lotta energy to keep this thing up.
who knows, maybe im pmsing. but right now i am feeling the
tears gathering up, trying to make a break for it.
but that wall, it wouldnt be so bad if i could honestly
just have a good cry with someone (physically) being there
telling me it was alright (even if it wasnt. suspension of
disbelief is a wonderful thing). too bad i come from a line
of friends and family who get really weirded out by an
emotional outburst. my friends just kinda stare, theyre
never sure wot to say (cept for pete. he s dependable). and
my family? well, theyve got their own problems.
so its back to me, dealing with my own shit. like ive done
for a *Very* long time.
oh well, pity me pity me.
at least work went well today.
i got things done *and* talked while doing so
(who says i cant mutlitask?)
anyhow, im off to watch tv and get my laundry outta the
basement before it freezes. lol