HeyDooder

GayDood
2003-02-11 15:12:46 (UTC)

I think I'm pregnant

I know it's supposed to be scientifically impossible, but I
think I just might be the first gay pregnant man on the
planet!
Let me explain...

Last night, after work, it was time for the "Weekly Monday
Tabletop Game" with Mr. Perfect and the others.
Well, it was fun, the shoulder was still bothering me, and
the most annoying thing keeps happening.
No matter how much I try and ignore it, I still get
terribly horny whenever I look at Mr. Perfect. He doesn't
have a great body, and his attitude is generally shitty,
but we have a history and a chemistry no matter what
battered condition we are in now.
And I keep thinking nice dirty thoughts about him, even
though I probably shouldn't.

After the game, I went home. Still awfully horny in the
car, and giving myself a quick grab now and then for
kicks. As soon as I got home, I went to my room, stripped
naked, and went to work on myself and I think I might have
actually hit orgasm in a record twelve minutes! And as
usual, I blinded myself (I won't elaborate on that, just
put your imagination in the gutter where it belongs).

So after all of this, it is 11:30 and I need to get some
sleep to be up by six to work out, which I can never do but
endeavor to accomplish every morning.

I woke up. Looked at the clock. Twelve fourty-five. And
I was WIDE awake.
I was hungry and was having the worst craving for arugula.
IF you were to ask me what arugula tastes like, I wouldn't
even know where to begin, but for some reason at a quarter
to one this morning, I was having a nasty craving for some.

I got up, went down to the fridge and looked around : cold
Italian sausage...I decided to make a sandwich.
We had whole wheat bread, and that would do fine. I laid
out two pieces on a paper towel.
Went back into the fridge and pulled out some Havarti
cheeses with caroway.
I sliced up the sausage and cheese, and laid it gingerly (I
adore that word) across the bread.
Back to the fridge : no arugula, but the sandwich called
for relish. And wait! Ooh, a huge jar of deli pickles!

I diced up some real pickles, got some Basil, garlic salt,
and cajun seasoning and added them all to the sandwich.

Finally, I topped it off with mayonnaise (a.k.a. creamed
fat...can we say 'YUCK' any louder?).

...such cravings as these lead me to believe I might be
pregnant...but as I do not have a period to count out, how would I
determine? I don't want to wait until the baby starts kicking to
find out!

I brought the sandwich to bed, and ate it while
watching "Vibes"...there's just something enjoyable about a
low-budget eighties flick with Cyndi Lauper...

...woke up this morning late. Still about as horny as I
was the night before, and took care of that before getting
out of bed.
And now, I'm in the office, and the horniness has not
quelled. I despise being like this with no easily
accesible outlet for my needs.

Hmmm, let me rephrase that. I could have the Shagster, and
he e-mailed me again yesterday to find out when we're
getting together again, and I'm not even sure I want to. I
didn't respond.
I could probably have Mr. Perfect, but is that really what
I want?

Not really, and even though my head is screaming "No!" my
loins are screaming "Yes!"




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