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dbnsfg
2003-02-11 09:02:31 (UTC)

Wake me up at stupidly early times, why dont you

i hate mornings

i hate early mornings

i hate the kinda mornings where you're actually sleeping,
and someone comes and wakes you up and all you want to do
is close your eyes and go back to that nice warm place
where nothing is real and everyone is happy

*sighs*

never happens the way we want it

last night..

as you already know, j and i spoke, but im going to tell
you all about it again, because i enjoyed it, and i can
talk about whatever i want in here, whether you lot like it
or not *grins snidely*

i think it was possibly one of the best conversations we've
had, and you couldnt even begin to understand some of the
things we talk about, or how we talk about them

he understands me

on what level, im unsure, but i have no doubt in my mind
that he understands me

all i ever wished for, was deeper understanding, a
friendship built on something no one else would ever be
able to break or enter or be capable of explaining

i think i finally have that

its a good feeling

i make him smile.. that may not seem like a big thing to
anyone else, but to me, its a great achievement, because
generally i depress people, no matter how hard i try to be
a good person for them.. but its different with him

he was reading this last night, my diary, which i was a
little sceptical (?) about at first, because theres a lot
about him in the previous entries, and i didnt want him to
change his opinion on me, because im secretly dolallytapped

thankfully, i dont think he did

he's an amazing person, and most dont see past his 'anger'
that he seems to force onto people, as a defence i guess

maybe he let me in

maybe im special afterall

or maybe i have an ego so huge, that im going to need to
have my door frames widened, before i can leave the house

either way, for last night at least, i was happy

its his fault :)

blame the 'dude' (which he hates ;)) who used to be a
gothed up stoner, who in some respects, knows me better
than most

i gotta go cos becca's here, write later




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