paramour

A Paramour's Secret
2003-02-11 04:42:57 (UTC)

AAAAAAAAAAA

!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
A!!!!!!

Welcome back into my head...


I am so alone (I know it's not true in a sence). But why I
am so easy to shove around? Why do I have to be the one who
is so easy to presuaded and be hit? Jesus Christ...the
screaming is back.........................................
What am I supposed to do? Of all the nights tonight is one
of the nights I want my blade back...the night I want to
die again. How am I supposed to tell them that? How am I
supposed to tell the ones I love that I want to slit my
wrists? I didn't think it was back...but when he hit me, it
came back so suddenly. I didn't fight back...he was sober,
I didn't understand. The other times I accepted, but this
time. I don't know what to do, I am afraid of him. I want
to run to the med cabnit and down as many pills as i can. I
don't understand. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN ME? FUCK!!!!!!
I NEED SOMEONE, ANYONE. I'DE RATHER BE ON A MILLION DRUGS
WITH BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN MY ARM THEN BE HERE. MAKE IT
FUCKING STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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