Lost and Searching
2003-02-11 02:01:08 (UTC)

Why do I keep haveing sex with stranger

mmm,mmm for some damn reason my conscience has decided to
rise again and rear its ugly head....sure for new year's
eve i told myself that i would stop having causual sex and
get myself into a relationship, well i should of known that
it would be easier said than done...Why do i allow myself
to have "SEXUAL RELATIONS" with another guy when i really
want is a relationship, well that is what i am thinking at
the moment anyways....I don't know why i do, but deep down
i do...i have such low self esteem of myself that when a
guy wants to have sex with me i just let it go to my
head...for me to show my body to someone else..damn i have
to disallusion myself that he cares about me, and the next
morning akwardness, will not happen this time, but i know
different....hell if i can lie so easliey to others why
can't i do it to myself right