Mindy aka Cutie

The life of a suicidal Teenager.
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2003-02-11 00:54:49 (UTC)

He's back in school

Alright, so Jon got back from Alternative school today and
is in regular school with me. He's such a mother fucking
asshole. The day started out ok I guess. Then at lunch I
was just tired of him looking at every other girl and then
saying that I wasn't showing him affection, earlier that
morning, and he wouldn't even hold my hand. So I was like
man, fuck you. He walked away and then wouldn't talk to
me. I ended up punching a wall and cutting why why why in
my wrists with a safty pin. Now I get to hide that from my
grandparents too. Then we "made-up". After school I asked
him a ? and he got all mad and started screaming at me and
cussing at me. Later he said he shows he's angry after the
incident happened and I just need to understand that. So,
we didn't talk for a while. When we get to my house, while
I'm slaving away at the stove, he says he hates fighting
and is soooo sorry. Ok, I totally don't understand you.
No matter what I do, I always "do something wrong" and, I
am so tired of being compared to everyother girl. I am
just as pretty. I really am pretty. I just have a low-
self esteem. And I am constantly thinking of ways to
better myself. I will look at every girl he does and think
what does she have that I don't? Oh well, one day either
he or someone else will appreciate me for me and only me.
Not what I look like, or whatever...but actually for me.