12 String Dreams Journal
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2001-09-23 10:07:20 (UTC)


I ask for nothing. In doing so I request the world. I
request the space that covers us in security. I request the
darkness that hides us from that which we search for day
and night. I require very little. A morning, a warm
afternoon. A rain storm now and then. I require peace and
turmoil and the ability to see that which is around me.

I give everything. Though it might not be what most people
want or expect. I give all of myself. Heart, body, and
soul. I give to the ones I love. I give to those I hate. I
give to my best friends and those whom I've yet to meet.
Call them strangers if you want.

I expect nothing and expect nothing to be expected of me.
To expect from others is to admit defeat in being self-
sufficient. I will give my life for anyone. I will give my
life to no one. Share, yes. Sacrifice, no. Believe,
sometimes. Dream, always. Understand, never.

What brought me here tonight.

What left me here to ponder.


I doubt it. I've lived with doubts all my life.


Maybe, but I fail to feel the fear.


Interesting thought but a little vague. A little to easy. A
good place to place blame or create excuses, but not a
place to stay or believe in. There's a reason for
everything and everything happens for a reason. There is a
reason I'm here tonight.

Lay my head down. Pull the covers up and listen to the
faint sound of life.

Am I here to observe and not to take part. Am I an extra.
An innocent bystander. Just the thought makes me laugh. I
have a way of putting myself in the middle of everything.
Never the outsider, and certainly never innocent.

I laugh again.

I drift off laughing.