once again
2001-09-23 05:23:51 (UTC)


I keep having dreams about Tony. I don't know why, I don't
ever think about him and I don't want to. Sometimes, I'll
find myself going past the places we used to goto, but then
I ask myself why. i'm so happy I don't have to deal with
him, I just wish I knew why I was having these dreams.
They're basically all the same...we get back together and
he swears he won't cheat on me and there's no other girls
and I don't believe him and I'm just with him for someone
to be there. I tell him all this and he swears he'll make
it work and he always looks like a little puppy dog. He
looks sick and tired in all the dreams and now that I think
about it, they really don't look too much like him. I tell
him that Shawn is coming to bewith me again and he says
it's just until then. I don't know but I'm sure that
because I wrote about it, I'll dream about it. Talked to
Shawn today and he was sick. He had to do the floors by
himself again and he said he was so tired. He said he had
a headache and he stomach hurt, but he always feels like
that when he really doesn't want to be at work. I probably
won't talk to him until Monday or Tuesday. I have to stop
putting faith into him until I visit him and see that he
really means what he's saying to me. ANyone can say
anything over the phone. Things change in person.