Dr Cats

today is the greatest day
2003-02-10 06:22:28 (UTC)

First Entry

This is my first journal entry. Hello everybody who will
read this. You can be my friend if you want. I love my
friends. THey are awesome people. Some people talk to me
about their friends and at times it seems to come across to
me that they only really have friends because friends are
something that you have to have.. i don't know if i'm
making sense with this.. but at times it seems to me that
alot of people have friends only because they have to..
it's like keeping in touch with them is aduty or an effort.
That seems so strange to me because my friends are the most
awesome people in the world... sure none of them are
perfect.. but nobody is.. their just people like you and
me.. but ilov ethem so much because they all care so much..
for myself and for eachother.. we're all a real team..
haha! But yeah.. hmmm.. well i suppose i might as well
mention one of the most dramatic things in my life at the
moment whichcis that i am starting university in 2 weeks.
It's so exciting but at the same time.. i'm kinda scared
off my nut. I'm doing a Bachelor of Creative Industries,
and I'm studying Theatre, film, writing and a bit of music.
SO yeah it's really great.. but at the same time.. man.. a
career in the arts will be hard.. everybody reminfs me of
that all the time.. but they also tell me i'm gonna go far.
It's kind of aconfidence builder and destroyer.. SO really
i mean i think to myself.. i could listen to all these
people tell me the same old BS or i could just listen and
believe in myself and follow my own self... I love art and
aanything creative.. so that's why i'm gonna do nothing
else but that for the rest of my life.. end of story.
Another thing about my life is that I am in love with a
girl who's name is Gabrielle. The sad thing is that we are
currently not together. It's complicated like a mofo..
because we are both still in love with eachother.. so it
hurts very much not to be together with her. But hmm well
she says she has stuff to work out... and i am very cool
with that. I just want to be happy.. i want her to be that
way more than i want that for myself. so yeah i just have
to give her time.. and me being able to find the strength
in myself to do that makes me feel very good about myself.
I want her to be happy.. it's just that i can't wait for
her to come back to me.. but oh well.. life is harder for
most than some.. and i'm just one of those same problem
filled people.. hooray for that. i love it.. i'm just an
average jo.. but at the same time i'm as complicated as a
mofo. SO with that in mind every single average jo should
be as complicated as me.. that's apretty damn complicated
world that we live in then.. but it excites me.. cos that
means that their sare onfinite ammounts of llives that i
can discover in this world.. and i have about 80 years to
do it.. i got started pretty early by meeting the most
beautiful person i will ever know.. but hey.. at least i
will get to bask in her beauty for eternity now.. hooray
for that every body. One other thing that i would like to
tell you all is that i love music.. with every essence of
me.. i am in a band.. that is very cool.. we are call ed
Showroom.. i hope you like our name. I love to make music
in my band... that also is very cool. I very much
appreciate the music of the Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead,
Oasis, Muse, Ben Folds, Damn it alot of Bands.. too many.
hmm at the moment i am listening to an englich band named
Seafood and the current track is asong of theirs called 'He
collects Dust'. It's very cool song.. very much like a
mellow song that you might find on a Placebo album.. this
song is cool.. THe story of the man reminds me of myself..
Feeling as though he is the only one completely complete in
this worl.. that being only becasue i know myself all too
well.. yet still not enogh.. i feell that sometimes i feel
too much.. i'm almost numb.. and all that surrounds me is
silent.. It is that most beautiful feeling int he world..
it pute me at peace.. and if ell so greatful that i am
alive.. THankyou God for my soul.. and all who surround me
and make me feel something.. they should be blessed. By the
way i am in avery heartfelt mood at the moment.. if you
pray, please pray for my Gabrielle.. i want nothing more
than for her to be happy with herself and for her to see
herself as somebody who is as beautiful as i find her to
be. goodbye for now.. please note that not all my lessages
will be as long s this one. BYE!