CrAzY LiFe!!
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2001-09-22 23:43:36 (UTC)

MixEd fEeLiNgS......

I'm having these mixed feelings with Mark right now. Like
at times I think everything is so perfect and hes the only
one i'd ever wanna be with. Hes like the perfect guy hes so
nice and sweet and everything! But then at other times I
dont feel right something just feels wrong. Something is
too weird. While we were at the movies yesterday during
bout the middle of the movie he took my hand and at that
moment everything just felt so special. All so perfect. I
felt liked I really liked him, but then while his parents
were dropping me off he gave me a hug before I went inside
for the night and that hug was really weird. I dunno maybe
its because it was our first hug or because it was akward.
Maybe its not ment to be and maybe it is. I'm not about to
give it all up though! Not yet. I wanna be with Mark. I
think anyways. And I already told him I'd go to Homecoming
with him and I wouldnt want to break up with him before
Homecoming. Cuz I still love him as a friend. i just think
I might need some me time right now. Sara told me yesterday
that Derek was talking to Krista and she said she was mad
because I kinda liked Mark and Derek said dont worry Mark
would never go out with her shes fat and Sara just wanted
to punch him. I felt so bad that he said that. I really
hate it when people say they think people are fat if they
think it I dont care I just want them 2 keep it to them
selves. Ya know....the last time someone said that it hurt
so much i went and took bout 41 asprin and had to go to the
hospital. Some people may think Im stupid for doig
something like that and maybe I am ...but its over and done
with...Life is rough! I really wish I could get out of
Kearney though mostly 4 those reasons guys here are suck
assholes! And there are people in my school soo much more
fatter than me! By far! So sometimes I think they shouldnt
say anything. Myabe I should become arerexic or bolemic? I
dunno but anyways....So I dunno what I'm gunna do about
Mark yet....I guess I'll just see and I have 2 talk to
Krista about it cuz if shes not comfortable about it then
neither than I. and I really dont wanna ruin our whole
friendship over 1 guy...I've known her 2 long 4 that but I
guess I'll just have 2 wait and see what happens!