Mo-mo

Fat mo
2003-02-09 18:46:51 (UTC)

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i woke up this morning feeling horrible. i didn't go to
church again- even though i really should... it seems to be
the only place now that i feel accepted. the only place no
one bothers me. i like the silence of peace, it's relaxing.
i wish my life was more peaceful. i need to start thinking
more and remembering who i am and what i don't want to be.
more and more i find myself trapped in a life of misery. in
a mind that has nothing to do with me anymore and only of
those things that i used to hate. i'm becoming more of the
person i hate. everyday i think of how i want to change,
but honestly i don't know how to. Actions speak lowder then
words, but if one can't think of anything to do then all
they have is acward silence. i'm not even sure what makes
me happy, i used to think my friends.. but it seems that
they are turning me into what i hate and sinces that
doesn't make me happy then i guess they don't either.
everythings so confusing. i don't even feel like i'm alive
anymore...if i died right now,whould i even know.




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