Euphoric Nothingness
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2003-02-09 03:38:17 (UTC)

Into the Unknown

Oh my! It's 10PM on a Saturday night and well...I am home.
Well I will admit that it is better than being at Wendy's.
I mean it would be nice to be out having fun and all, but I
don't really need to spend the money. So I guess it's not
so bad.

Well due to circumstances beyond my control, I am secluded
in my room tonight. It's not that bad, I mean I really
like my room. It's great. Somewhat messy but I can hide
all of that within 5 or 10 minutes. However, I don't think
the emergency cleaning plan will be needed tonight.

You know, I would like to have a few more friends. I
really like the ones I have now and all, but since I have
so few there are times when all of them are away. Like
tonight. I'm not mad or anything at the ones I have but
finding a Zeppelin-ite or 2 would be great. Especially a
female Zeppelin-ite....those are hard to find in a college
setting like this.

So I got my financial aid yesterday. And it's almost
gone! Well I spent it well. I put a large chunk of it
towards finishing the computer payments. I bought some
boots from JC Penney that were 30% off! I love it when
that happens. Also, I bought myself 3 Zeppelin shirts, a
long sleeve Dark Side of the Moon shirt, and a workshirt
from The Doors. Plus, I finished paying the months bills
and set 900 aside for summer school tuition and/or
emergency money (you never know when lightning will hit
your roof haha). I also got myself the first season of
South Park and a cheap PS2 game. I think I have spent it
well. I am good with budget stuff.

Once again, I am contemplating my school choices. I am not
sure if Radio/TV is the place for me. If it is, I don't
think it's in the production field. I just can't see
myself as a cameraman, video editor, or the "tech guy". No
offense to those people. They are important. If I were to
go into Radio/TV, it would be in the journalism field. I
really like the History stuff and after this semester I
will need only 2 classes to finish my Statistics stuff so I
am going to stick with that. But I am debating on changing
the Radio/TV to either Journalism or Political Science, or
both! I figured out today that if I wanted to get degrees
in Journalism, History, and Political Science, I could
probably do it with 2 extra semesters. Of course that's
assuming that I pass all my classes, which we all know I
will. But imagine graduating with 3 degrees and a Minor at
23 years old....wow. I'm not all into self promotion or
what not but I would be good. It's an option I guess.

Speaking of school, I had 2 tests on Friday (yesterday).
One in Canadian History at 10AM and one in Nonparametric
Statistics at 11AM. I studied and studies and studies for
them. And I think it paid off. I know the Canadian
History went well, but the Nonparametrics was harder than I
anticipated but I think partial credit will once again bail
me out. I feel like this semester is going to be OK after
a little bit of a rocky start. I feel like i still have a
shot at 5 A's and that is what I am going for.

I was thinking to myself today that I need some hot
brunette female lovin'. It's not because of Valentine's
Day or Feb. 14th or any of that crap. I deserve it. I
work my butt off day in and day out and some lovin would
really make me feel better. I am happy and all but I want
more I guess. Don't we all want to feel special from a
certain person. It's been a long long time since I have
known someone that was willing to give me a shot.
Frustration may be talking here but it's all good. All of
these terrible and horrifically stupid people get some
lovin', so why can't one of the hardest working people in
all of UCF?

I guess my lack of lovin' is a large part my fault. I am
extremely picky and I know it. I am very specific about
what I want. I just have to figure out where I could
possibly meet someone with what I am looking for. Maybe I
am looking too hard or too specific. Hmmmmm.....this is
one of those rare moments where I completely baffle
myself. However, this is the area in which I baffle myself
the most.

I think that the next few weeks up to Spring Break are
pivitol. I need to find out if I classify as an
independent student. I need to work hard to keep my grades
up. I need to decide what I want to do with my life and
how I can go and apply it to school. It's going to be
important that I figure out my niche in the world and how
destiny shall have me moving towards it.

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