My heart beats in breakdowns

The Life And Times of Jake Rubin
2003-02-09 01:02:12 (UTC)

Captian obvouis and the mystery of the cell phone cunt

Well for all my fans rubin is back with another pretty
story...I was bored as shit...so i talked to chris he
wanted to go sleding...i thought about it bitched and
moaned to myself and finally told him i'd be there in 15
mins...i didnt really want to do that but really i have no
choice because i only have so many people i can call. So i
went to his house and it turned out there there were no
sleds but that didnt matter anywayz...we got a few lids to
varouis things (garbage,toy bin) and so we were on are way.
We stopped at dunkin doughnuts...we meet up with Captain
Obvious...hehe... We call him that because hes excellent at
pointing out obvouis shit...thats about all hes good at. So
me and chris met john and capt. obvouis. We sat around and
shot the shit for awhile amy called. (refer to the last
story for details on me and amy) I dont want to talk to her
and she wanted to talk to me...shes so annoying the last
thing in the world i need is for her to apoligize and
through pity at me...nigga please. We i told her i broke my
jaw and she fucking belived me haha...she fell for it and
even offered me money to goto the emergency room...i was
straight i dont need to see her i might just fucking attack
her. So anyhow we went to john's after work cause they
wanted to smoke weed..so while there captian obvouis got a
phone call from this girl jen. so we went and picked her up
she wasnt bad at all i wanted in on it...she was the first
desent girl id seen in a while what can i say?!?! on the
way back chris had a stroke of brillance... i have a alien
suit in my truck so i busted it out and we stopped at a gas
station chris ran up to the window ass naked...with a
fucking green alien mask and gloves knocked on the window
got the ladys attention and showed her his
dick...haha....so he ran off into the car and we laughed
into the sunset...o...then we went to johns house and he
pulled the same naked stunt. they werent to suprized with
it and they didnt really notice. so we busted out the
bacardi and i started mixing drinks i must not have noticed
how much liquor i was putting into it but by 2 drinks i was
fucking SMASHED. I ended off yuking it alot. i was babbling
to myself all night and mummbling. i yuked so hard i may
have busted a blood vessel in my eye...its hard to tell.
these were heart felt hi-fi technicolor yawns. my
assurence, i also said im never doing that again and i
relized i am never drinking liquor again. So im dead tired
and feeling about as healthy as a mcdonalds cheese burger.
so i need some sleep im dead tired. Check out Taking Back
Sunday...i like them there shows are were the chicks are at.




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