random mumblings
2001-09-22 16:06:35 (UTC)


it's funny how it's nobody's fault and no one wants to take
the blame for anything :) and pat is selfish and two-faced
afaic...i don't know what to think honestly

Patrick has a way of hearing what he wants to hear and
stretching the truth. I never told him I didn't have
feelings for you, and I never said that I never liked you.
It was just that you were so intense, you were ready to
jump right back into things and I wasn't ready for that.
And i knew that if we kept hanging out you'd think that
things were rolling along smoothly when in fact I was still
not ready for a relationship. And that's what i told him,
and Kevin was there as well so you can ask him if you like.

I told Pat that if he wanted to start seeing me he had to
clear it with you first. I told him there was no way i was
coming between two friends. Kevin knows about that too, so
go ahead and ask him. So he told me it was none of your
business and if you couldn't handle it, it was your
problem. I begged him to talk to you cause i was
uncomfortable with it and finally he said that he would
say "something". So I thought he did.

He was a BIG mistake. In every way and I've felt bad about
it ever since. I know that doesn't make it better, but I
do. I never intended this to happen. I figured he'd talk to
you about it, you'd tell him you weren't comfortable with
it and that would be the end of it cuase he's your friend
and wouldn't do that to you. How was I supposed to know he
was so selfish and two-faced?

I deserved the go fuck yourself, but i tired to do the
right thing. I don't know how you feel towards Pat, but i
think he deserves the focus of your hostility, he has the
focus of mine for the lies and the way he treated the both
of us.


and by the way, The reason I haven't been on messenger
lately is cause i installed new software and it 's sucking
up so much memory that i can't get messenger to work. it
crashes everytime i try to open it. but since i can't
afford more memory right now, i can't log in.