Jess_Mull

Nowhere man please listen. . . .
2003-02-08 21:39:29 (UTC)

Febuary 8,2003

I haven't thought about matt at all today.

Ok, that's a lie. I had a dream about him last night.
It's kinda vague, but i deffinatley remember dreaming
about him. We were at lunch and he was in the little
window where we drop off our pates (cuz he works in the
kitchen- don't ask he has this thing about cooking, he
wants to become a chef) and he smiled at me and i was
really taken off guard because he hadn't been talking to
me. But he said hi to me and i was so surprised i almost
shit myself lol. But we were talking and he apologized to
being aa jerk to me. And when the bell rang he smiled and
gave me a kiss on my cheek.

I was so happy, but then so disappointed when i awoke
to find out it was only a dream. Damn my school girl
dreams! I only wish it would be the way it was before,
when he liked me and would tell me so many nice things.
He would say how much he wanted me and he wanted to be
with me at all times. He said that when he turned 18 he
was gonna come kidnap me and i could come live in his
apartment with him. lol- and we said we could have sex
everynight, and in the shower/before work/before school.

But it's not like that anymore. The pains of a broken
heart alway lead you to reminisce about things like that.
It sux, but i really have to forget about any future
things happening between me and Mr. Chaput. He has just
treated me horribly and i can't take it any more.

I just thought he was SO wonderful. Prefered classic
rock over any other form of music. Meaning he LOVED the
beatles. More of a pink floyd/Zepplin fan - but that was
still wonderful to me cuz i love them too! He was an
environmental major- like myself. AND he loved sailing!
The whole sailing bit really did it in fer me. When i
found out he liked sailing i was like whooooa. Strange
combo sailing AND beatles, AND environmental major! I
thought he was a keeper.

And when i found out how messed up he was i thought i
could save him. Show him the simpler things in life, and
that you CAN be happy most of the time.

But i failed, i had to give up.


*~*~*~*~*

Bend, little willow
Wind's gonna blow you
Hard and cold tonight

Life, as it happens
Nobody warns you
Willow, hold on tight

Nothin's gonna shake your love
Take your love away
No one's out to break your heart
It only seems that way...hey

Sleep, little willow
Peace gonna follow
Time will heal your wounds

Grow to the heavens
Now and forever
Always come to soon

Little willow

Nothin's gonna shake your love
Take your love away
No one's out to break your heart
It on;y seems that way...hey

Bend little willow
Wind's gonna blow you
Hard and cold tonight

Life, as it happens
Nobody warns you
Willow, hold on tight

Ah, little willow