American Spirit
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2001-09-22 03:28:11 (UTC)

Breaking the silence of night

It wasn't our movments that did it. it wasn't the way he
turned or the way i danced with him. We weren't even loud
when it happened. All i did was say "come to my futon of
love" and he did. Then the love of my futon crashed and we
toppled down the page. Now laughter spills where there was
quiet contimplation of what had happened. My mother says i
should be calm. I told her i wasn't as old as her though i
do not see me ever loving in any different manner. I know
people are shaking their heads at this. Laughing at me.
Still no letter from chase and he promised again he would
write but i did not expect him to. My lover lies on a
broken down bed wishing i were with him. Maybe i should
torture him a little more. Still my mind wanders to what
ifs. What if she had loved me as she said she did. What
if the other woman in my life were not so far away. What
if he was gone? That last one scares me. I still wear her
ring everyday and aside from forgetting it in the medicine
cabinet after a shower or in my pocket after work, it stays
on. All in all, i am doing well though missing my friend so
far away in a world i will never know much less come to
understand. But i have new players now not as great but
they keep me busy. If only i had her to write with. then
i would write like there was nothing else. For now i am
tired, and my feet hurt but i am not so hungry anymore. I
can't believe we broke the bed.