ganesha

thoughts on life
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Ezoic
2001-09-22 03:26:27 (UTC)

september 21

i'm so depressed. I owe $50,000 on credit cards. i have
no job. no income. family depending on me. what's going
to happen to me? i've tried daytrading, but have lost
$20,000 in the past 12 months. i don't know what to do to
make money. i made so much money in the past, that i don't
know what to do now. daytrading seems like it would work,
the payoff is always right around the corner, every new day
seems like I will do it. Then i make a little and lose it
by the end of the day. I make $100, next day lose $1,000
next day make $100. i've wasted 6 hours a day for 7 years
doing this. I can't believe it's been 7 years. from that
first year in Hamilton House, when I made $5,000 in a week,
i was hooked. Then i made $20,000 in a month. i was
really hooked . the ironic thing is neither of those were
day trades. The first was a swing trade, the second a
highly leveraged position in Eurobonds, which I undid the
next month. i've got to get a salaried job managiing
money, then i'll have a more secure normal life and pay off
my debts. My wife came in and almost saw this. i haven't
told her that i haven't made any money for a year trading.
I haven't consistently made money for 7 years. god, what
i could have done to make money these 7 years, but the lure
of easy money from trading has me. It still has me. I'm
still sure that monday i can make a lot of money if I just
do it right. of course, when i do, then i sell to early
and just make a little, then later in the day i get antsy
to do another trade and i lose the profit from the
morning. then at least once a week the signals really fail
and i lose big.... it's incredible. im depressed. and i
dont' know who to turn to for help. i used to turn to my
mother, who bailed me out in the past, but she's been gone
for about 15 years now, and i can't do that. so slowly i'm
building a book of business, but only up to about $5,000 a
year so far in fees. i can't afford to get things for my
kids that i'd like to. they had such a good life for
awhile when i had lots of money. now we're living a more
modest life. ig uess i should count my blessings.
1,2,3,4,5,6, 7, 8 ,9 ,10...


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