Nesyla

Nesyla's Journal
2001-09-22 03:16:11 (UTC)

The regular challenges

So, you win some, you lose some -- I went for a massage
with K last night after work, and knew that we'd planned to
go for dinner together afterwards. I also went and stood
in line at the Ministry of Health to renew my card, so I
went for an early lunch (about 11:30) which was Tim
Horton's - roast beef sandwich & soup. I was so pleased
that I was able to resist the donughts - not even a Timbit
passed my lips :-)

Later, though, about 4 hrs later I was hungry - bagel &
cream cheese. Why do they always put so much cream cheese
on a toasted bagel? I'm always scraping it off! It was
good that I went when I did, because we didn't get to the
restaurant until 8 PM which is much later than my usual
dinner. Here is a facet of my food 'obsession' - I always
know when the next time I will eat is, and if it's at all
uncertain or if I have any reason to believe that it might
be delayed, I feel very anxious. It's like I'm afraid of
being hungry . . . even though I know intellectually that
there's nothing wrong with that, and that nothing bad could
happen to wait a few hours for supper, or even miss a
meal . . . or days worth, in an emergency situation. So
while I might not have needed the extra points, I certainly
was hungry and did enjoy the bagel :-)

Supper was at our favourite little restaurant on the
Market, and I had a glass of wine, water, and steak au
poivre on garlic mashed potates. Yummmmmmmmy . . . so
wonderful! I really take a lot of pleasure in eating -
savouring the flavours, the textures, the presentation
(although I can also eat a lot of crap, if you know what I
mean!) That's something I'm also trying to learn -- pass
over the crap for quality, at least, for god's sake! Duh!

Probably went over on points. Oh yeah, didn't count again
yesterday. *sigh*

Today was a challenge - another trouble spot for me is food
in social settings. I overeat at parties regularly. This
was a double challenge day, because we also had a party at
lunch - ordered out Greek. I resisted having a snack this
morning (which was easier because it was quite busy) as I
wanted to save points for lunch - a vegetarian greek
platter. I also am trying to pay attention to when I am
full as I eat, and get over my "thing" about cleaning my
plate. So I was able to dump a third of the rice & a
dolmade (which wasn't very good & I'd wished I had stopped
after only one) - yea!

During the 'low blood sugar' hour at mid-afternoon, though,
I did go looking in the kitchen for any leftover chocolate
cake that I passed up/avoided at lunch . . . however,
thankfully, it was gone, and I resisted going to the
vending machine by making my favourite standby, hot
chocolate. It worked yet again!!!

Tonight, at T's good-bye party, I brought my specialty -
The Dip :-) It wasn't up to it's usual excellence due to
the substitution of non-fat sour cream for low-fat, but
you'd never know by the volume of it I gulped down - and no
baked Lays, either :-( And, as often happens, I overate
potluck dinner. And I never should have had some cake -
although, again, I left the icky thick icing behind.

So, there is some progress here - I saved points by leaving
some food on my plate over the past couple days. I'm
starting to identify triggers and tools & techniques I can
use to increase my success.

I know there's lots of work to be done, but it is a start.
And today, in the hallway at work, I noticed the spring in
my step and I thought that I'd love to break into a jog --
how surprising! Because I thought I'd walk until the
spring, but just maybe it's time to start the beginning
training program again . .. . what do you think? Guess
I'll see how inspired I am tomorrow am :-) LOL

What I SHOULD do tomorrow - make a meal plan based on
points for next week and to use as a basic weekly
template .....