Rush

I'll hold my breath
2003-02-07 03:14:45 (UTC)

To be free

It's kinda odd. I want to be free and open to everyone, but
i'm kinda afraid at the same time. I want to just shout out
but i can't. I guess i'm afraid of people acting different
around me and not accepting me. But there's this one quote
that i read. It goes something like "don't be afraid to be
yourself, be afraid not to" The more i think about that the
more i wonder. My mom's boyfriend said that i'm the kind of
person people wonder about, that they never know how i'm
feeling. as much as i hate him, i have to agree. I mean, i
want to tell people, but it's like no one's ever really
there. He also said that most teenagers feel like no one
knows what they're going through, which is probably true,
but sometimes its kinda more than that. It's like me
wondering what it's like to be in love. I know that i will
be in and out of love. i know that i will get my heart
broken, but i need to know it existes. I wonder about
having my heart broken. I know it will hurt, but i also
want to look back at it, and realize how wonderful love can
be, and if that person wasn't who i'm going to end up with,
then whoever i do end up with would be something words
can't explain.
Well anyways, i'm still wondering who i should come
out to and who i shouldn't. Oh, by the way, i'm not sure if
i said this, but my friends and i are going to dress up as
goths! it's going to be awesome, plus i just went to hot
topic and got some new things. i wanted to get this rainbow
pin, but i didn't :( The good news (i think) is that i
might get the girl i like a flower. lol guess my mind
started
wandering
again...lol what can i say, it's like what my shirt says "I
live in my own little world, but it's ok...they know me
here" well, i better go. ttyl!
~Katie~




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