Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
2003-02-06 06:22:28 (UTC)

stop

Well, on a good note, I got that job.

I talked to Bridget. She was telling me that I've lived
enough to be the average american "40" and then 10 mins
later.... I'm just told I'm way too young according to
someone who isn't very old at all. If only they knew.

It's so funny because you hear so many people talking
about society and how they don't set their standards based
on society, they try to be different. And then, society
tells us THIS is SUPPOSED to be THIS WAY! and out of fear
of embarrassment, they jump off that cliff too....because
really....no one wants to defy society.

And this, this my friend...is the same thing. And I know
this because I listen to my heart....not what is SUPPOSED
to be.

I overestimated this.

But then don't I always?

I was thinking earlier about Jason, and how comfortable
our relationship was at one point. How I had been
engaged..and how I really thought I'd spend the rest of my
life with that guy. How I thought we were soulmates. How
we talked about Children....how we talked about a family.
How it's all changed.

I was telling an unsuspecting friend about Mike..and they
told me I "shouldn't date young guys
anymore"....hah...little did they know---no no..he is not
23...he is 33.....it's every human being. It's not an age
thing.

I was thinking about all the things in my life that
went "wrong" or at least what society tells us is "wrong".

I'm tired of not even being able to have a normal
conversation with someone. I'm tired of people being
afraid.

The oldest soul I know is my best friend Kiley...at 35.
The youngest one I know is my Father, in his 50's.....

but we are taught this does not make sence..how can you be
older when you have physically lived less years than
another?

Because sometimes it's not how long you have lived, it is
what you have learned.

Or should I say remember? hah.

If something is meant to be, it will be--IF you choose it
to be.

I hate people who lie to themselves..
that's a lie...because I don't hate anyone...and for
someone who doesn't hate anyone, I sure do use the word
hate enough.





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