The Diary of an idiot
2001-09-21 04:40:59 (UTC)

What the Hell?

Well let's see what's the update since the last entry
Well I'm still single, still looking, and still not feeling
good about it.

I mean relationships n stuff are good and all but i'm not
sure if i ready yet. Yeah i've matured alot, yeah i might
be more focused now, but the games oh the games. I'm sorry
but as much as i try i have to play the mind games.
Yeah i know its mean, its evil, but its how i was raised.

ie: Boy likes girl. Boy not sure if girl likes him
Boy creates situations in which the girl has a
chance to exhibit her feelings. The girl shows
both good and bad feelings. The boy runs like the
breaking of wind. (man i love that phrase)
Or Sometimes the girl will show interest and the
boy will move closer.
Or girl doesn't like boy like that boy walks away
feeling like an A$$. Jack A$$

Hey that pretty much sums up my true attempts a
relationships now. Or at least the first one and the last
I hate to say it but i was raised in an environment that
wasn't condusive to that of producing proper
relationshiops. I was always taught to date around and
find out whose best for you.
Unfortunately the environment now at school just isn't what
it should be. I kills the old me and now i don't know how
to act.
The girls that i have interest in now are either so nice
that i don't want to hurt them or they are so advanced that
they are beyond my level.

Well now to the meatier part of my diary. Who does Tlp307
like now?????? OOOOOOOOOoOOoOOo

Well right now there are 2 main girls who i like.
One we'll call Kapri and the other
Hmm don't like those names they sound like a porno movie
guess i better find some better names
how about
tracy & Nicole
yeah i like that. Those are alot better.

Well let's start with tracy. Tracy so far from what i know
of her is a nice girl. Cute, beautiful smile, long hair
(sorry but a must for the guys in my family) and for the
most part finds me funny. Or at least i think she used to
think i'm funny but that's part of tomorrow's entry
The only problem now is that she is a freshman. No the
problem isn't that i don't want to be seen with a freshman
for a girlfriend but dating a freshman makes me feel like a
vulture. I don't want to be dating a girl who has yet to
have seen all of her options. If she is just getting into
college then i don't want her missin out on stuff (maybe
even better guys) just cause i like her. Plus i bet she is
the kinda girl who isn't really lookin into relationships
yet. She is very smart and very focused (a very top trait
to me despite my own personality) and usually that type
isn't looking for a guy in college...or at least a guy like
me in college.

Nicole is a junior along with myself. Me and her, her and
me, i and her, her and I, we been friends since freshman
year....oh so long ago. But anyway she's a nice girl same
quelities as tracy but she's going to be graduating before
I hate to say it but that's the main fear that i have of
both of these girls. They are focused they are holding
course. They wouldn't be dating a guy like myself
I'm laid back
little bit bummy
and not really sure what's going on in my life Yeah i want
to be a teacher but am i really going to be a teacher.

There are those times when I wish that God would still send
a thundering voice to answer my questions. But hey i guess
taht's where faith comes in
well its about that time. I gotta get up tomorrow for some
classes and studying

"In all my studies and in all I know...
....All i know is that i know nothing"

good night

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