The Nightshade Princess
2001-09-21 02:27:44 (UTC)

blood is like wine

"She's got her eyes open wide
"She's got the dirt and spit of the world
"Her mouth on the metal
"Lips of a scared little grrl..."
These words play in my head. Not nearly so awful as
the pictures I saw a few days ago. I have been remiss in
writing here for many reasons which I shall not go into
now... The song "Coma Black" by Marilyn Manson played on.
What I saw is in parenthesis ---().

(A gray bedroom, with a black rung in the middle, no
windows, doors, or furniature, save a mirror on the wall; a
shelf with a vial of blood, a dead rose, and a photograph
of a young grrl on it; and a desk. A "perfect"
steriotypical gothic grrl with an odd shiny black hairdo,
perfect black makeup, and long black dress with flowing,
midieval style exaggerated sleeves. She is beautiul, but
she sits in a corner of the room, knees drawn up, weeping.)
"My mouth was a crib and it was growing lies
(uncurles herself and rises from the floor, walking to the
"I didn't know what love was on that day
(mouths words at the mirror)
"Heart's a tiny blood clot
"I picked at it
"It never heals and never goes away
(begins franticly applying makeup and messing with her
hair, in an attempt to form a better self-image)
"Burn all the good things in the Eden eye
(stilly applying makeup, she becomes more distraught)
"We were too dumb to run
"Too dead to die
"Burn all the good things in the Eden eye
"We were too dumb to run
"Too dead to die"
(music picks up into the chorus, as she throws her lipstick
into the fragile glass off the mirror, shattering it into a
thousand shards of various sizes on the floor)
"This was never my world
"You took the angel away
"I killed myself to make everybody pay
"This was never my world
"You took the angel away
"I killed myself to make everybody pay"
(She watches the glass shatter as these words are sung,
covers her mouth in horror at the destruction wrought, and
begins weeping again, until her eyes catch the shelf with
the photo, blood, and rose. She mouths these words:)
"I would have told her that
"She was the only thing
"That I could love
"In this dying world
"But the simple word
"Of love itself
"Already died and went away
(As the next chorus plays "this was never my world..." etc,
I saw her writing a letter in very neat, but ornate
script. I see flashes of it, certain lines that are
empasized in the angles and zooms that I saw in broken
bits.. I could plainly see "This was never my world, you
took the angel away, I killed myself to make everybody pay"
In various parts of the letter, mixed with a few more lines
that were not seen.
(The chorus plays several times more, as we see her pick up
a large shard of the glass on the floor and cut her white
wrists, as well as her hands because the glass is sharp.
She seems to go through some odd, psychotic/hypnotic mental
state, and, dazed, begins writing with her blood on the
walls. Only bits of these words flash through my vision as
the music plays. There she stands in the middle of the
room, blood wetting the long sleeves of her dress, making
them hang limply, and dripping everywhere.)
"Her heart's a bloodstained egg
"We didn't handle with care
"It's broken and bleeding
"And we can never repair"
(This is repeated as she collapses on the floor. I saw her
after on a sort fo birdseye view, as if I were floating to
the ceiling. The picture spirals and fades.