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2003-02-05 05:32:52 (UTC)

Dooms Day Come and Gone...

Yes, Anna did not send the email and said she wouldn't
unless Susan emailed her and said that she (Susan) hated
her (Anna). *sigh of relief* But it had me worried-well
not really. It's like worried was what I was supposed to
be feeling but actually I just felt...apathetic about the
whole thing. Like she can go fuck herself and
whatever...I still feel like that but it doesn't make her
eyes less blue, or her less just means I'd
rather not care at that time...whatever the fuck. I keep
hoping maybe something will change, either I'll stop being
in love with her or we can start something...but I love to
be in love with her and don't really wanna change the way
I feel for her.
Like when I thought Anna had actually sent the email, I
didn't even care...or at least I didn't think I did. I'm
sure I must have deep down somewhere but I have no idea-I
talked to her like normal. And today I was confirmed that
Anna HAD sent the email so I saw Her and sorta smiled her
direction kinda thing, and She gave me this kinda
appraising look like she was looking for something. I was
like "uh this isn't good" but then Anna said she hadn't so
who knows...?
But yeah, I'm just going to enjoy this...whatever "this"

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