dfblacktshirt

Ya Mar
2003-02-05 05:13:29 (UTC)

Just so i have it...

9:58PM
Corey Unger: yeah, so, cool.
Corey Unger: haha
garrettthestar: tonight with sue: New Cumberland Diner
then Checkered Past then Cornerstone
Corey Unger: nice.
10:00PM
garrettthestar: I got a wonderfully good shirt
Corey Unger: oh?
garrettthestar: yup yup
garrettthestar: it's a ribbed t-shirt. the main color
is orange/peach and the sleeves are blue. It accents
everything and there is zipper at the top
Corey Unger: neat
Corey Unger: haha
garrettthestar: you'll enjoy it
Corey Unger: i hope so!
garrettthestar: how's life?
Corey Unger: great. life is great right now.
Corey Unger: im content
10:05PM
garrettthestar: me too. I'm glad
Corey Unger: yeah.
Corey Unger: im really glad.
garrettthestar: how's the family life?
Corey Unger: good. parents are gone for the week.
Corey Unger: always fun
garrettthestar: that's right!
garrettthestar: I wanna come play
Corey Unger: come over and play
garrettthestar: I don't know when though
Corey Unger: tomorrow?
Corey Unger: like, six?
garrettthestar: tommorow Alec and I are seeing Los
Lobos
garrettthestar: for freeeeee
Corey Unger: oh yeah.
Corey Unger: right, cos he cant come over
Corey Unger: check.
garrettthestar: see if thursday night works out for
him to come play. because thursday is Liz day. but we
could all come over to your house and play
10:10PM
Corey Unger: well..thursday..i dont know..i know he's
gona go to roundtop friday and come back over
Corey Unger: but..yeah, i dontk now, talk to him
garrettthestar: I will. tommorow....i'll write a note
to myself
Corey Unger: yeah, so, i've discovered that i actually
really like him.
Corey Unger: and, i like that.
10:15PM
garrettthestar: good! i'm fucking estatic about that.
honest
Corey Unger: i know you are. and so am i. its a good
feeling that i havnt had for a while
garrettthestar: yey!
Corey Unger: and dont tell him i said that.
garrettthestar: Liz has commitment problems but i'm
working on them
garrettthestar: I won't
Corey Unger: uhoh.
Corey Unger: whats going on?
garrettthestar: she can't say The Words
garrettthestar: she can write them.
Corey Unger: hmm.
10:20PM
garrettthestar: she thinks i'm goign to break her
heart
Corey Unger: well. I love you. i know it doesnt mean
the same thing, but, it counts. tell her not to take
things so seriously
Corey Unger: tell her to be happy with you
Corey Unger: just like im telling you right now to be
happy with me
Corey Unger: because im done with the unhappiness. im
done. and im no long acknowledging it.
Corey Unger: er, longer
Corey Unger: just, take a step back
Corey Unger: realize, things will be ok
Corey Unger: keep thinking positive, as cliched as it
sounds
Corey Unger: but, its true
Corey Unger: its all about attitude
Corey Unger: if she wants love, she'll find it in you
Corey Unger: because i think you love her
Corey Unger: and you dont need to convince anyone,
including yoruself of that
Corey Unger: because what is love? thats a stupid
question and it doesnt matter
Corey Unger: you know what youre feeling
Corey Unger: she knows what she's feeling
Corey Unger: no more games.
Corey Unger: im sick of games. they take too long.
garrettthestar: hold on. let me read all of that
Corey Unger: ok
garrettthestar: okay. done
garrettthestar: it's harder to explain that to her
though
garrettthestar: she is not like us corey
garrettthestar: because we are still the same kid.
Corey Unger: well.
Corey Unger: what does she need to her?
Corey Unger: er, hear
garrettthestar: it's a gradual thing.
Corey Unger: not so much her
Corey Unger: fuck gradual
Corey Unger: it takes too long
Corey Unger: thats bullshit
Corey Unger: you fucking tell her, because she's
breaking your heart and im sick of it
garrettthestar: she's been hurt alot alot. it's
alright.
Corey Unger: its going to hurt her if it comes all at
once, but she needs it
garrettthestar: She's relearning stuff
Corey Unger: like what
garrettthestar: do me a favor and send our
conversation about this. because i Xed it out
garrettthestar: like how to fall completly
Corey Unger: uhm, yeah, hold on..i gota..yah..
Corey Unger: i'll send it in an email..just so you
know, mines dfblacktshirt at yahoo.
Corey Unger: hold up one sec
10:30PM
Corey Unger: spacing is messed up, but, you can fix it
if you want to
garrettthestar: right. I want to remember that stuff
Corey Unger: good.
Corey Unger: im not really done, unless you are
garrettthestar: no, i'm not at all
Corey Unger: excellent. because, i've been thinking a
lot these past weeks
garrettthestar: she cannot just be told things like
that. her mind isn't ready for it.
Corey Unger: i cant accpet that.
garrettthestar: It's hard for me to
Corey Unger: i mean, i just..refuse to accept that.
Corey Unger: tell her the same thing over and over
again
Corey Unger: but dont sugarcoat it
Corey Unger: because, itll just take longer
Corey Unger: the more time, the more pain
Corey Unger: tell her.
Corey Unger: tell her how she needs to be told, but,
more bluntly
Corey Unger: compromise
Corey Unger: you have to.
garrettthestar: I know. I'm trying. we talked for a
while about it
Corey Unger: about what though?
garrettthestar: that i'm not here to break her heart.
that i will not come back from England and hate her
10:35PM
Corey Unger: its past that though.
Corey Unger: its everything.
Corey Unger: god.
Corey Unger: there's so much im ready show people.
Corey Unger: and it doesnt frustrate me anymore,
its..relieving.
garrettthestar: Me too corey. Me too. The world is not
ready
Corey Unger: i dont care.
Corey Unger: thats not an excuse anymore.
garrettthestar: I'm breaking out of that. I challenge
so much now. people are getting weird about it...but
i'm starting to care less because it's what i really
thing
Corey Unger: exactly. i dont care anymore. im finding
the people i want. accepting the positive qualities of
the people i sort of want. and allowing myself to
sometimes get mad at people i dont like with getting
mad at myself
Corey Unger: i have found myself. and i mean that. i
know exactly who i am.
Corey Unger: im in love.
Corey Unger: with myself.
Corey Unger: everything.
10:40PM
Corey Unger: that sounds weird, but i love it.
Corey Unger: i have so much confidence
Corey Unger: like, i feel..so different
Corey Unger: i know.
garrettthestar: no no, it's great. I know exactly what
you mean. the shirt i got today, i looked at myself in
the mirror with it on and i was like, damn, this is a
good thing
Corey Unger: yes.
garrettthestar: it's that. it's confidence without
being egotistical
Corey Unger: i have to tell you something. maybe its
not a big deal, but, i feel like it is, and i cant
keep having this conversation without telling you
this.
garrettthestar: okay. shoot
Corey Unger: if it is a big deal, i apologize for
upsetting you, but i dont apologize for doing it
Corey Unger: i read your online journal.
garrettthestar: nope, i'll be cool
Corey Unger: i just read the whole thing.
garrettthestar: it is not a big deal at all.
garrettthestar: your thoughts?
Corey Unger: and i just feel like you should know
that. because i feel like i've completely invaded your
privacy
Corey Unger: my thoughts are, that im going to start
my own
Corey Unger: because its wonderful
Corey Unger: my thoughts..youre an incredible person,
no matter what. sounds cliched, but, im pretty sure no
one can ever change that.
Corey Unger: and i love you
Corey Unger: those are my thoughts.
garrettthestar: thank you
Corey Unger: youre welcome.
garrettthestar: it's very strange. i've gotten fan
mail.
garrettthestar: like 4 people have left messages
saying i'm amazing. it's...different and wonderful
Corey Unger: people are ready garrett. dont force it,
just offer it
Corey Unger: i promise you, theyre more ready than you
think.
garrettthestar: that's what my journal is.
garrettthestar: people very much appreciate it.
garrettthestar: And my writing has improved with it.
Corey Unger: absolutely.
garrettthestar: it's not sensless teenage babble
garrettthestar: how did you find it?
10:50PM
Corey Unger: lea told me. i love her. she's wonderful
Corey Unger: she's one of my favorite people
Corey Unger: and im going to show her.
garrettthestar: show her what?
Corey Unger: anything she wants.
garrettthestar: ohhhh
Corey Unger: ..except my chest.....
garrettthestar: you could share that with PA and still
have some for rhode island
Corey Unger: hahaha
10:55PM
garrettthestar: so what else have you been thinking.
since you've read my thoughts
Corey Unger: oh god. my mind is just..everywhere
Corey Unger: about everything.
garrettthestar: any elaboration there?
garrettthestar: I want to be involved in a cuban crime
of passion
Corey Unger: i dont know, what i was saying before. in
the past couple weeks, i have basically discovered
everything i have ever wanted to know about myself
Corey Unger: but like, not even that
Corey Unger: im just..me.
Corey Unger: im happy.
Corey Unger: and, im not worrying about anything. im
not worrying about myself
Corey Unger: its hard to explain
garrettthestar: but you don't have to because i
understand
Corey Unger: i hope you do
Corey Unger: but, i understand
Corey Unger: so, thats good enough for me
Corey Unger: i just know.
garrettthestar: seriously, it is very very scary how
alike we are
11:00PM
Corey Unger: yeah, that realy is true
Corey Unger: i feel like we havnt really talked for a
long, long time
Corey Unger: and im ready to
Corey Unger: and i will be ready.
Corey Unger: wow, im just like..elevated right now
Corey Unger: i feel like im almost high
Corey Unger: i cant describe this feeling
Corey Unger: and i lovei t
garrettthestar: you and i definitly need a day
Corey Unger: absolutely.
garrettthestar: umm...friday, is it at ALL possible
for you to skip school?
Corey Unger: mmm..i doubt it..my parents arnt
home..and i dont want to make amanda make that call,
you know?
garrettthestar: yeah. well, alec and i are skipping.
garrettthestar: I'm going to be at roundtop
garrettthestar: he may be too
Corey Unger: for the whole day?
garrettthestar: perhaps...there could be an
afternoon/evening at your house
Corey Unger: yeah, well, he was just going to come
over after riding and after i work
Corey Unger: so, you can too
garrettthestar: mmmhmmm
11:10PM
garrettthestar: sounds peachy
Corey Unger: wow, i love this diary thing.
Corey Unger: what a great idea
garrettthestar: i thought so too
garrettthestar: what's the name of yours?
Corey Unger: *hides in corner*
garrettthestar: really
Corey Unger: no.
Corey Unger: haha
garrettthestar: that'd be so great
11:15PM
Corey Unger: dfblacktshirt
garrettthestar: umm...i still didn't get our
conversation
Corey Unger: well..i sent it to garrettthestar@aol
Corey Unger: so..you should have
garrettthestar: i didn't....
garrettthestar: aol.com
garrettthestar: .com
Corey Unger: yeah, no shit
garrettthestar: .com
garrettthestar: okay...well i didn't get it biotch
Corey Unger: well, hold on a damn second, cos im
typing up my diary entry 'biotch'
garrettthestar: okay....
11:20PM
Corey Unger: GOD
Corey Unger: haha
Corey Unger: hold on, i'll try again
garrettthestar: haha




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