Christina

...Said Sadly
2001-09-20 23:33:51 (UTC)

Yearbook

Today I sad in 6th period (Yearbook) Thinking god ... Why
the hell am i in here i'm not a good worker i'm not a happy
person If i was I'd fit in better in that class everyone
knows each other and are all nice but me i si alone
trlaking to know one Because i'm to scared to i've never
ever been goood at talking to people and if i was i would
so be talking to all those people... All the people in
that class are nice i mean there really good people but i'm
afraid well at the momenbt i'm afraid i'll bring this
yearbook down i'll make it suck ass i'll be the one to
fuck it up cuz I alway mess stuff up ugh i wish i had more
self confidence but i don't so oh well!.... In class the
song stuck in my eeggy head was Glass Theme from sp ...
I've lately been really into The samshing pumpkins and jack
off jill I dunno why maybe because i can relate to alot of
things said by those bands...Today "Hozay" He was saying
shit about me in 4th period i was so afraid he was gonna
say something about my cutting problem i had last year in
frot of the person i liked as well ... I don't wanna get
back into it when ever someone talks about it i want to go
do it but i don't cuz i'm trying to get better nd i don't
want the cops to come back here and take me which they
saidn they'd do it i keep up with it ... I seriously hopei
i don't get into it again i'm afraid i'll hurt my self
badly I rememebr that the first time i cut i was thinking
the whole time That oh yes this will make someone listen to
me this time no one can say that my pain wasn't really just
somehting from my music ...But all my parents did when
they found out i cut was say that its only that stupid
music i listen to I'm sorry but if you think I would just
follow anyone you're mistaken... I have a fucking mind i
can think for my self you don't see me being something
trendy or anything i mean i dunno ... I do my own thing and
i don't do what others want me too ... I'm not a drugie i'm
not a fucking drunk and i don't have sex with anyone if i
don't want to i think for my self i know what i want my
only question for every one is do you know who you are what
you want why you want it? is it your own personal choice?
if you answ4er no then you need to just do whatever you can
to just be your self ... okay i totoally got off the point
ugh alrighty i'm not getting off this thing cuz most likely
i'll end up pissing my self off Buh bye