My Life
2001-09-20 22:59:51 (UTC)

Back where I started

OK, maybe I'm not so much over Zack, OK I'm not over him at
all. I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I had him.
I have tried to slit my wrist four times since he broke up
with me. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so
crazy over him? Is it really love or just obsession? How
could I be so stupid to lose someone that great? Why does
he seem to just go for my best friends? When am I going to
get him back? Will I ever get him back? What will I do if
I do get him back? Will I fuck it up again? This list
could go on forever, but those are the ones I can think of
right off the top of my head. *cries* I want him back so
bad! He is going out with my third best friend now,
Autumn. But I am handling this one much better. I told
her congratz and to cherish what she has now because you
never know what you have until it's gone.
Well, I'm still with Shannon, but I am thinking about
breaking up with him today because I kinda just wanna go
out with different guys this year. Since 6th grade, I've
had 4 real boyfriends, Marcus for 7 months and 17 days,
Kyle for about 6 months, Zack for almost 6 months and
Shannon for almost 2 months so far. All of those long
relationships ended up with heartbreaks that were really
hard to get over. And I'm afraid of that again.
Well, I hafta go.