Emily

One More in the World
2003-02-05 00:54:59 (UTC)

Failure To Close My Eyes

I can't sleep. I haven't had a real night's sleep for
about two weeks. The past two days have been the worse. I
just lie in bed, just lie there, I hate that feeling...and
if I do sleep it's for like maybe three hours, then I awake
and can't get back to sleep. I hate just lying
there...cause then all these thoughts go in and out of my
mind and I can't take it. Then my eyes burn...that
sensation you get before you cry, and my tears don't fall.
I even take medication that will make you drowsy (Nyquil,
Robitussin PM) all that shit, and my body is like immune to
it. I'm scared if I take anymore I'll OD on sleep
medication. Maybe that'd be nice. I could sleep forever.
Make up for lost time. But I can't, I'm to scared though
the thought inside of my head doesn't seem too bad lately.
But it scares me that my body doesn't feel anything
anymore, no pain, no exhaustion, no weakness, no nothing.
God, I want to become awake to my life again. I'm living
someone else's- this isn't my life. Please someone save me,
bring me back to life. I'm going now, going somewhere. Bye.




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