A Closed Mind is An Open Book
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2001-09-20 21:29:34 (UTC)

From Friend to Foe in 60 Seconds

It seems like the more I see them, the more I hate them.
I've known them all so long. And I should feel empty
without them. But everyday, each and everyone of them gets
on my nerves even more. Its like when I used to cut myself.
The blade would be inches away and I'd be fine with it, the
closer it got, the more I loved it, but once it sunk into
my skin, the cold metal seemed more vile and disgusting.
And the only reason I kept going was because I hated it so
much. I can't stand them, but I find myself being pulled in
closer. Each day I dig a deeper hole in their little world.
Each day getting out seems harder. I'd leave but I dont
know how to get away from them without them following and
drawing me back in. My head hurts. My faith has died. And I
want to go to sleep and not wake up. Maybe tomorrow I'll give in to
my selfish desire and become a loner for the day to sort things out.
Or maybe I will feel compelled to be nice to them and pretend I'm
their friend. Am I stabbing them in the back??? Should I let them
believe I love them?? Or should I be honest and tell them all to go
to Hell?? I don't know anymore. I guess I'm just shit outta
luck, again.

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