Kitten's deams
Ad 3:
2003-02-04 22:54:59 (UTC)


Why are they so complicated? I think that they do it on
purpose. Ok why can't he love me, sine i love him, and we
live happily ever after? Why do S** and A*** have to be in
love with me? Why do they have to tell me? I don't know.
They both love me a lot. A*** stopped saying so, but I can
see it in his eyes. S** came out and told me. I love them
both, but I don't love themlike that. First of all, I
don't think they would ever get into the freaky stuff. I
don't think they would ever touch a little S&M. The safe
stuff. Plus, while I am attracted to both of them, there
is a major spark missing there. Now J**** is only into the
phisical stuff it seems, but I'm not at all attracted to
him, we're friends with benifits. I rally don't evn like
him like that, but he's preety decent with his hands. With
Nature Boy, it was different. We lived six hours away so
it wasn't a phisical relationship. We were able to talk
for six hours on the phone. When we met for the first time
since our breif aquaintance he didn't kiss me till about
one o'clock the next day. I was his first kiss. I knew
right then that I was crazy about him, that I loved him.
The next time we saw eachother it was really passiont.
Mean I'm not kidding. There was a phisical attraction
between him and me that I'd never felt with anyone before.
It was there. An emotional attraction, an intelectual
attraction, and a phisical attractioin. All three of them
were strong and there was an equal ammount of each. I mean
we would argue theories of the Bible, tell each other a
thousand times that we loved the other and that they were
beutiful or hansome, and we would talk about sex and how
hot we were for eachother. Tell me, doesn't that sound
like te perfect relationship? He had the cutest sile and
his eyes were irrisistable. He looked great without his
shirt. Six foot six, two hundrad and fifty punds of
gorgous. Wow! He was perfect for me. Twords the end of
our relationship we talked a little less because he was the
lead in the school musical and that was the week that they
were putting it on. I told myself that was why. He broke
up with me the Monday after the Musical, the Monday before
Christmas week. That was one of the worst days of my
life. All day I had been in Chicago and i got stuck in an
elivator with Freshmen and shophmores who wouldn't shut
up. The entire day I was waiting to get home so I could
talk to him. Because we got home so late I had to skip my
salsa lesson, which always puts me in a good mood. I also
had some bad news to tellhim. I had kissed some other boy
out of spite that weekend. I had to tell him about it and
say I was sorry. I had had two days to dwell on it before
I told him. I had realized in those two days that I loved
him and would do anything to keep from losing him. That
day I never even got to tell him that. He told me that he
had been encuraging me to date other people for a reason.
Oh God! I'm a good Actress. No one knew that I had just
had my heart broken and that the person I loved most in the
world had cast me off like a bad memory. It took me two
weeks, at the most to get over anyone else. A month and a
half later and I'm still in love tht man. God I love him.