Darling Heart

What i can't say
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2003-02-04 07:20:46 (UTC)

"Pretty baby"

I am so tired of feeling this way. I am tired of feeling
jealous. so jeff went to a concert with melissa. i know
they're never going to get together again. but i can't
help but be jealous. i'm not jealous of jess. i have
never felt jealous of her. Maybe it has something to do
with the fact that melissa is closer in age to him, and at
least twice when i thought i was going to be seeing jeff,
he saw her instead. But i can't help but feel this way.
And i'm tired of the feeling i get every time i know that
they're together.

I have decided that for now atleast, i need to stop with
the things going on with jeff. I need to stop all the
sexual things at least for a little while. Mainly because
i need to know for sure that we can still be friends with
out the sexual aspect. And maybe then we can mess around a
little again. It is fun, and i love it, but i think i like
it so much because it makes me feel that there is still
hope that we can have more than a just friends
relatioship. But we should be able to have a more than
friends relationship without the sexual part. So for a
while, we need to end it. We've tried to end it in the
past, and neither of us really wanted to. Now i want to.
And i'm sure that the next time he's in town i'm going to
regret it, but i need it.

I need to get over him, i need to move one. At times i
feel that i am over him, and maybe thats a good sign. Now
i am just taking another step to getting over him.


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