ultimateEMOgurl

So much for my happy ending...
2003-02-04 06:49:32 (UTC)

Yet again...alone, crying in my room

Well i was just talking to albert and ya...well after i
talked to albert, dont ask me why, but i started to read
sum stuff jeff had written to me and stuff like that. It
made me realize that i dont know what is true anymore. I
mean reading what he wrote me and comparing it with what he
says now doesnt make any sense. I mean if what is he says
now is true then that means everything back then was just a
lie and done to make me happy. Or what happend then was the
truth which would make what is happening now a lie. I just
dont know what to believe anymore. I just dont understand
what things cant be how they were, and why i cant be happy.
It all doesnt make sense. I mean i see everyone around me
with sumone that they care soo much for yet i find myself
with no one. I also realized that those 3 lil words should
be said with care, and it should be special when you hear
them. But i was thinking about it and i dont even remember
the day he said it to me for the first time. It wasnt
special, it was just another thing. And i totally regret it
now. Its sumthing that is meant to be treasured and i just
took it for granted. I cant believe how blind i was before,
and stupid too. Ive changed a lot over this past year, and
i think i will be wiser for it. I just wish things didnt
have to turn out this way. But i guess thats how they
turned out, and i cant change that. So yes...i shall go and
continue to cry in my room...alone.




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