Nick's Journal
Ad 2:
2003-02-04 06:33:21 (UTC)

Have you ever?

I don't know about you but i've thought of a lot of things
where i just wonder if i'm the only one that does this.
so here are some things.
Have you ever eaten your dinner while taking a shit? The
craziness of food entering you at the same time it leaves
you is something else, i believe that something else is
described as "disgusting" well i just do it in times when
i have no time, which seems all the time.
Have you ever done something so stupid that you regret it
beyond all belief and the only thing that feels worse than
the actual act is your own inability to right the wrong?
I know i have, even one time is too many.
Have you ever just driven? Driven west as the sun sets,
trying to catch it, trying to let the last rays of light
linger on the hood of your car, flying away from the
darkness as it slowly creeps up on the back of your
windshield and slowly engulfing you?
Have you ever wondered about those guys that are just "so
smart" yet are human wastelands? If they're so fucking
smart why aren't they working for nasa instead of living
off their moms smoking pot?
ON that note, have you ever had soemone tell you "you'll
like him he's just like you"? wrongo, the second you say
that i WILL hate them, plus it remeinds me of seinfeld's
greatest quote when elaine says that to him, he
retorts, "why do you say that? i hate everybody."
Have you ever just wanted that one thing, god knows what
it is, materialistic or badly that it seems
that everybody adn the world is against you? that's when
you really realize the insatiability of our lives. we
look at what we have but we realize that what we need is
that one thing, that one thing that we risk life and limb
for, for some it's love, and for others it's a twinkie.
Have you ever just wanted to do something? by something i
mean turning around and yelling at the obnoxious people
behind you? by something i mean fantasizing about being
the guy that kicks all the bad guy's butts? yeah i know
we all do it.
we fantasize, we want, we dream, we fuck up, and we strive
for what creates our immaculate image, and image that only
lives in our minds.......and in the minds of those that
respect and love us.
if you've ever wondered if others have ever, you're not
alone, and what you think about is not your thought in
isolation, there are so many people out there that want to
be superman. there are so many of us that just eat our
fish on the shitter, wishing for just that one act that
will vault us into our triumphant image of ourselves.
it's not so bad being the latter.
if it is......i'm wasting a lot of my time on this earth.

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