6445bekiM

doesn't even matter...

nothing else matters." i don't think i've heard any other
trik turner songs, but "friends and family" is a pretty
good song. i don't think im using their analogy properly,
but those 6 words mean a lot to me right now.
here's what laura has to say about our situation: What
do you do when you find out that your best friend is
talking shit about you? The last month, Mike has been
acting strangely towards me. I asked him repeatedly what
was wrong, and if i did anything. He repeatedly reassured
me that I did nothing. Later I found out that he was
telling people i was "too emotional" and he "didn't know
how to deal with me anymore." So i asked him about it...at
first he denied it. Then he tried to apologize. He claims
that he was "in love with me" and because he
couldn't "express his true feelings" they just turned into
hate and rage towards me...and he's been "focusing on my
weak points" to prove to himself that i'm "not as great as
i really am"
fuckin great. what do i do now? i don't know. right now,
that's all that matters to me, so i guess my subject
doesn't fit....well, nothing ELSE matters, so i suppose it
does. either way im confused as fuck. she doesn't...sound
pissed off, but i still don't know what to do. any
suggestions? i seriously have nothing to go on so any
suggestion will do.
im a fucking moron. all my life, i've been
saying, "don't trust people". but i put trust in tom, and
it obviously backfired. i figured he'd be cool about it and
not say anything. i just gotta learn to keep my mouth shut.
anything i "just gotta say", ill just write in here, so the
whole fucking world can know about it. except those that i
know. no person i know knows i have this. if they
did....i'd be fucked. lord knows what i've written in the
past year and a half. feelings change, thoughts change,
attitudes, emotions...people, people change. i've changed.
god damn it, what does i do? i just signed on and i keep
getting IMed, distractions. fuck. PEACE

mike